Monday, September 15, 2008
Last Along the Climbing Way
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Front pages
LARRY EUGENE MEREDITH
AND OTHER CREEKS
THIRTEEN STORIES OF HOPE AND HOPE LOST
2003
Copyright 1961. 1962, 1964, 1965, 1966, 1967, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2008
by Larry E. Meredith
Cover Photograph and Design by L. E. Meredith © 2005, 2008
Photograph on Page 136 by Mildred Meredith © 2008
WORD COUNT: 30,464
To Frank, Joe, Teri & Tracey
For hearing the tales and supporting the teller.
O ye, beneath life's crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing!
--It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
CURRENTS
WINTER
Child of Snow 10
Passing 21
Ground Dog Day 25
SPRING
To Steal an Apple 40
Portrait in the Park 46
Kaleidoscope 58
SUMMER
Day of the Roller Coaster 64
Henry 68
Pour Out Your Life at the Old German Tavern 80
AUTUMN
Brown II 95
Modesty
Terror and the Librarian 107
WINTER AGAIN
Along the Climbing Way 116
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Ground Dog Day
Read Aloud
February 2003
Barnes & Noble
Wilmington, DE
Ann Murphy, Editor
Copyright 2003 by Larry E. Meredith
Child of Snow, Modesty, Pour Out Your Life at the Old German Tavern, & Terror and the Librarian
Creative Writers
2001
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Joe Pokatsch, Editor
Copyright 2001 by Larry E. Meredith
Kaliedoscope
Creative Writers
2003
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Tracey Landmann, Editor
Copyright 2003 by Larry E. Meredith
WINTER
Child of Snow

Child of Snow
Creative Writers
2001
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Joe Pokatsch, Editor
Copyright 2001 by Larry E. Meredith
Found in the collection, Currents of the Whiskeyrye
Written in 1962
The southern high moved toward the northeast. They met a tick from moonset. They pushed at each other. They stalled over the county.
Rusty Kramer sipped a coffee while filling his tank at the only open gas station. It wasn’t yet dawn. The air was still. Rusty hitched up the hose and secured the cap. He slid into the seat and snapped the AM to the all-news jabber; weather updates and school closing lists. His scanner crackled intermittent messages, all early-morning innocuous and non-urgent and dispatchers making small talk. The road was wet from melting powder. The day began in deception.
He made a quick round through Brackettville. There was little activity. The school was dark. Down in Old Town a dump truck loaded with salt idled along the sand pile. Men in insulated clothing clustered nearby sipping their own morning brews, talking about old storms that had rumbled through. He stopped next to the crew chief.
“Hey, Roy, got’ch woolies on?”
“Two layers” the crew chief removed his hat and wiped sweat from his forehead. “Maybe it’ll go north.”
“I wouldn’t make book on it.”
“Nope,” the crew chief moved back toward his men, “too blasted early for winter. Ain’t even mid-December. Ill omen.”
Rusty nodded and drove off, turning east. He circled around to the Frateramorton Pike. The night sky had changed to day sky without a noticeable difference. The clouds thickened to a solid gray drape. Everyone’s headlights stayed lit.
There wasn’t traffic on the highway, although a steady rumble of trucks moving west continued unabated. Most these robust vehicles turned onto the bypass two miles above town limits.. Rusty went straight, taking the business route into Wilmillar, what was called Lincoln Street.
Among the first houses was the Hildebrand’s tidy white colonial, lit with Christmas trim. Warren and Lily were patching spoilage the thaw had caused to their child of snow. Rusty flipped on the flashers and pulled along the opposite curb. He ran down his window.
“Hey Warren, Lily.”
Lily looked and waved. Her gloves were too large and the fingers waggled empty. She went back to patting down the snow boy while Warren limped across the yard to the wrought iron fence. The man grasped the top rails with two red-raw bare hands, the fingers large in the knuckles and the indexes unable to bend. The weather played havoc with the arthritic. Rusty felt twinges around his big toes, an ominous reminded of the seasonal gout that sometimes hit him.
“You wait a bit, Warren, the day’ll take care of the boy for ya.”
“Jest doin’ some patch work. Lily’s been hopin’ this ‘un’d last the holidays. She feared the Saturday snow was too early; built ‘im anyways.”
“Well, tell her to stop worryin’, Warren. From reports I’ve heard all morn, snow ain’t goin’ be a problem.”
Warren looked up, scanned the sky. “Feels a might warm.”
“You don’t look any too warm.”
Warren laughed and held up his red hands. “Lily couldn’t find her mittens. I gave her my gloves.” He leaned across the fence, lowering his voice. “She gets a mite forgetful anymore.” He winked.
Lily didn’t look up from her smoothing, “There’s nothing wrong with my hearing though, you ol’ coot.”
Both men laughed. Rusty went sober first. “Listen, you be okay? You got enough food in?”
“You think it’s gonna be a real bluster, eh?”
“Yeah, I gotta hunch this is one of those storms of the decade.”
“Awful early.”
“Still.”
“Well, we jest loaded up on groceries yesterday. I reckon we’d get through from Christmas to Groundhog Day before we’d starve. Ain’t big eater’s.”
“Okay, Warren, but if I was you I’d stack up a bunch of blankets and get some flashlights handy?”
“I got about three hurricane lamps down the cellar I’ll bring up.” Warren saw Rusty raise an eyebrow. “Oh don’tcha go worryin’ none. These ain’t oil lanterns. All battery charged. Got extra cells, too. We’ll be okay come hell or high water.”
“Well, if hell comes it’s gonna be froze over. Look Warren, I’ll check by a couple times jest to see to you.”
“’'Preciate it, Rusty, but we’ll be fine.”
“An’ don’t go out to tend the boy if this thing hits. Let it blow out first.”
“Yep,” Warren stepped back and touched a crooked finger to his hat brim.
Rusty rolled up his window and sped over to the right lane, killed his flashers and headed through Wilmillar proper.
Nice people. Little crazy. You’d think after so many years they’d give up on the whole idea.
That snow boy had graced their yard as long as he could remember and he had plenty years to remember anymore. He’d grown up just around the corner from the Hildebrand’s. Anybody grew up nearby knew them.
They never had children of their own, thus they fawned over every kid in the neighborhood. They didn’t give out treats on Halloween. They threw a feast of candy, ice cream, cakes and cider. They had little gifts for neighborhood kids every Christmas, chocolate bunnies each Easter and little bags of hard cinnamon hearts on Valentine’s Day.
Rusty sighed. Why do they cling to that witchcraft stuff? They must be pushing eighty, well past Lily’s childbearing years. That witch’s spell wasn’t too likely to happen now, if’n it ever was.
Rusty zipped through town where storeowners prepared for non-business. Some were hanging closed signs on the door. Others were crisscrossing masking tape across display windows to cut down on shattering if blizzard winds hit. The street was empty both sides, whatever cars might have been parked along the meters overnight were moved elsewhere clearing the path for snowplows.
He cut along the high woods northwest of town. These hills remained untouched and undeveloped, for how many more years he didn’t know. Wilmillar had changed a lot since his boyhood. He made a U-turn and headed back. His mind turned to the witch. Use to be a witch lived in a clapboard shack in those woods. Use to be she would pass through town now and again. Usually about the time of the town fair or when the circus played down on the empty lot next to Battle Park. She died decades gone by. The shack had tumbled down in the last hurricane that got this far inland and the planks had rotten away into the soil.
Might have been this same witch put the idea in their heads so long ago, caring for a child of snow could result in a barren woman having a real baby. By now they should see this spell for the hustle it was.
The first flakes were beginning to fall and the temperature dropped to the Frigid Zone. Rusty clicked his heater up a notch. He circled back to the Hildebrand’s. The yard was empty except for the child of snow now restored to some semblance of a little boy. Fresh black button eyes sparkled with an eerie echo of life reflecting the blinking Christmas lights. A new baseball cap was upon its head.
Maybe as a child he’d believed in magic, but he had grown up and seen too much reality. What a cruel hoax to give this old couple such a hopeless hope; a shame considering the love they would have lavished on a real child if they so faithfully lavished such care on a snow boy for fifty years, building anew each winter, praying for early and lasting snows and waiting through the dry years when nothing fell.
A rumble in his belly knocked the thoughts out of his head. It was past noon and a long patch since he’d eaten anything but coffee.
He turned north on the Pansville Pike. The ground patches in the fields had disappeared again and wispy white snakes wiggled across the highway. Drifts were edging onto the lanes from the shoulders. A gray veil had fallen about him. Through the haze he saw the neon sign in the window of Willie & Ruth’s Truck Stop blinking a warm OPEN. He pulled into the lot between two idling semis and hustled into the diner. Ruth greeted him with a fresh cup of coffee when he sat at the counter.
“Glad your open,” he said.
“We never close, you knowed that. 24/7. ‘Cept Christmas Day. Somebody got to look after these truckers.”
He ordered up and she came back shortly with a sandwich and fries. She sat the plate before him along with a bottle of ketchup. “Gettin’ bad?”
“Pickin’ up.” They both paused in silence, listening to the wind whomping against the front windows. “Startin’ to lay on the roads pretty quick now.”
“Expected it. Tol’ the regular staff to stay home. Jest me and Kate here. We can handle it. Ain’t gonna be much business today.” She looked down the length of the diner. Rusty followed her gaze. No one else was there except two burly men in a far booth. “Been a long day already. Mind if’n I join you?”
“Not a-tall.”
Ruth poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a slice of pie and came around the counter to take a stool beside him. They sat eating for a bit.
“You look lost in thought, Rusty. What’cha thinkin’ ‘bout?
“Hildebrands. You know ‘em?”
“Sure. I grew up with Warren. Lived in the house next door. Didn’t know that, didja?”
“Nope.”
“Me and Warren’s the same age.” She laughed. “I’m a pretty old bag.”
“Don’t look it.”
“Use’ta have a crush on Warren. Dated some in high school. But he always had eyes for Lily.” She frowned. “Foolish people.”
“Rekkon. Why do you suppose they believe in that stuff?”
“Why, don’t you believe in witches, Rusty?”
“Been a long time since I’ve seen any witches around the county.”
“Don’t mean they all went away. You see any butterflies around Wilmillar or Red-Winged Blackbirds out along the swamps of Glenmarsh or White Tail Deer up on Harmony Hill anymore? That mean you don’t believe in the existence of butterflies or blackbirds or deer?”
“Didn’t say that exactly. I’ve seen witches in my youth, jest don’t hold with them havin’ powers.”
“Warren seen a witch, but he knowed a witch’s power in his youth as well. You know Warren got arthritis?”
“He’s an old man. I got a touch myself.’
“Me too, Rusty, but Warren started cripplin’ up with his while still a teen. Think he’d of learned right then witches is bad business.”
“What’s witches got to do with it?”
“You remember that crone lived up in the woods out along Honeycomb Road, up in the woods all alone.”
“Jest went by there today. She’s been dead awhile. I remember she used to come downtown once a time.”
“It was one of those times when she passed though from someplace to somewhere, beggin’ at back doors up and down our street. Warren was sittin’ on my front porch and saw her starin’ at him. He saw where she gazed and folded his hands in his lap, ‘shamed of the ugly warts runnin’ down his finger and thumb. Some doctor had proscribed a fowl smellin’ salve what wrinkled up your nose, but it did nothin’ to unwrinkle his warts. Anyways, she comes up to him bold as can be and takes his hand right from his lap. She was an imposin’ woman, big, with short-cropped hair under a faded orange bandanna. She wore a long full skirt over petticoats and a puffy white blouse. Large bracelets slid up and down her arm when she moved, tinklin’ together with a bell-clear ring and twinklin’ in the afternoon sun, castin’ a’ half-moon of golden light across our faces. I still sees her plain as your face.
“’You like to be rid of these?’ she asked him.
“He shook his head rapid-like, fearful what she’d say next. Prob’bly had visions of buryin’ dead toads in midnight cemeteries, but all she said was, ‘come back here Thursday evenin’. After dark.”
“She dropped his hand and left.
“He came back to my place on Thursday, wonderin’ what was the significance of that night and we waited on the stoop as the sun set and a full moon rose, bathin’ us in white. A shadow crossed the glow and she was standin’ there reachin’ for his hand.
“’You ain’t gonna prick me,’ he asked.
“She held his warty hand up in the moonlight and began runnin’ her thumbs over the bulges.
“’Done,’ she said, droppin’ his hand. ‘I take warts with me now. Never come back.’
“He looked at his hand and the warts were still there.
“She smiled. ‘Hope may be all you ever have,’ she said and walked away.
“Next day, Warren woke up and the warts were gone, gone fer good. But five years after, the arthritis starts. And the first twinges began you-know-where.”
Rusty chuckled. “You know Ruth, I never can tell when you’re pullin’ my leg.”
“I ain’t pullin’ your nothin’ this time, Rusty. Where you think they got this snow boy nonsense? Truth be, Lily’s a barren woman...or maybe it’s him, but she ain’t goin’ to have a child anymore, not at her age. Jest don’t happen.”
“Happened with Abraham’s wife, now didn’t it. Sarah was an old barren woman who bore a boy.”
“Glad you know yer Bible, Rusty, but that was faith in God weren’t it? Not a witch. Ain’t no good gonna come of it, but ol’ Warren ‘membered that witch and those warts and he sought it out. Only thing he forgot was the arthritis.”
Rusty pushed off the stool. “Better git on back out there. What’s the tab?”
“On the house, Hon. You jest keep safe, be payment ‘enough, okay?”
“Gotta deal.”
The storm was as bad as any Rusty had known. Even the big rigs were gone from the highway. The wind was tearing off roofs in the Glenmarsh area, drifting shut the back roads, ripping down wires to plunge half the county into darkness and chill. Fools who ventured out were getting trapped in snow banks or hitting fallen tree branches the size of Yule logs. Seemed there was always somebody who just had to go to somewhere they couldn’t get.
Running fast and furious between calls, Rusty only passed by the Hildebrand’s once at the storm’s afternoon height and caught a fleeting glance of the couple watching the blow through the living room window, outlined by the soft glow of lamplight. He was glad the power had held up in this end of town. The wind was rattling the trees and had already snatched away the cap from the snow boy’s head carrying it to a neighbor’s yard.
Rusty swung back through Wilmillar once more late in the afternoon; weary and half-blind from the continuous swirl of snow and sleet bouncing across his windshield like white bee bees. The patrol car fishtailed at every curve. It was time he took shelter himself. He came across the town line, snapped his spot on and swung it across the Hildebrand yard. He blinked and pulled across the lanes and stopped.
He stared, heart pinging behind his badge. He sat a long moment before he lifted the radio mike from its cradle.
“You think you can get an ambulance out to 121 Lincoln?”
“Accident?” The radio faded in and out.
“Death,” he said as level as he could. “Lily Hildebrand.”
“You sure,” asked the dispatcher.
“Yes.” He clicked off.
He placed the mike in its cradle and raised his eyes from the snow woman that had been built next to the tumbled remains of the child of snow to the solitary figure of Warren Hildebrand behind the front room window.
The old man looked back at him with hopeful eyes and waved a gloved hand.
Passing

Steam fanned across the kitchen window. Jenny wiped a clear circle in the center with her hand. She pressed her nose tight against the glass. Outside was twilight. The sunset red had faded to gray over the bluish hills, a shadow moon just visible. Jenny’s eyes moved back and forth, studying the night’s slow interment of the yard.
Crystal evening air chilled through the pane. Harvest was over, cornstalks lay bent and crushed upon the back hill, the husks empty. Cows huddled together in phantom shapes far across the neighboring field.
“Mommy?”
Helen Kaline glanced up from the sink. “Yes?’
“Am I dying?”
The dish slipped from her hand, sinking to the bottom of the water.
“Lord, what makes you ask such a thing?”
“I heard you say Nellie was dying. What’s dying?”
Helen had asked the same question of her parents once. Had she been older? She couldn’t recall. She remembered what they said about a wonderful land with gold streets and being greeted by beautiful angels with great wings. Helen held to that vision, but Jenny hadn’t seen the inside of a church since her Christening. She didn’t know what churches were, except buildings with pointy roofs. She’d never heard talk of angels or gold streets in this house.
Helen dried her hands and went to Jenny. “Dyin’ is our body wearin’ out, then our heart a stops beatin’ and our body goes cold and we gets buried in the ground.”
Jenny pressed her face harder against the windowpane, her voice tiny. “Will I die?”
“Honey, we all die, but jest our body. We got souls go to Heaven and live forever.”
“Uhh?”
“Heaven’s a nice place for good people.”
Jenny shook her head. “What ‘bout not so good people?”
Helen touched Jenny’s long curly brown hair. She peered over her daughter’s head at the darkening sky. There was a nimbostratus shroud to the west.
“Well, If’n we try hard and obey the rules, we get a taken up to Heaven. But if’n we break the rules, we get sent down to a bad place for punishment. See, we don’t never really die. We jest pass to another place. People call it passing on.”
Helen returned to the dishes, leaving Jenny to puzzle over this. The water had grown cold. She added more hot.
Jenny kept her vigil at the window.
The sky deepened in tone. Across the moonlight on the hill moved a shadow. This shade prodded toward the house. Jenny stiffened. A brown and white dog shambled into the yard. Its muzzle was low, nearly scraping the grass. The dog was covered with faded shaggy fur making it appear plump, but you could see its thinness in the boniness of its wobbling legs. It came to the back porch and passed the house beneath the kitchen window. At the patch of light the window threw across the lawn the dog paused and looked toward Jenny. Brief recognition glistened in its black eyes. It wagged its tail and then the eyes misted over with film. It lowered its head and passed.
Jenny watched the tail disappear beyond a shed. She left the window and threw her arms around her mother’s hips.
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?”
“Was Nellie your dog a long time?
“She was my dog since I was a little girl.”
“Little like me?’
“No, I was older than you when a neighbor gave me Nellie, but I had her a long, long time.”
“Did you love Nellie?”
“Yes.”
“And you love me?”
“Yes.”
“Will you have me a long, long time, too?”
Helen did not answer.
“Nellie used to stay in the house.” And sleep in my room, Jenny thought.
“Yes, but since she gotten sick…” but she didn’t say about the bleeding and the mess, which led them to put the dog outside.
“Will Nellie go to Heaven?”
“No, dogs don’t go to Heaven.”
Jenny let go of her mother’s legs and stood back.
Helen looked at her. She brushed back the girl’s hair and wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of a hand.
“Did Nellie break the rules?”
“Oh no, honey. Nellie was always good.” Helen tapped Jenny on the nose. “Jest like you.”
“But I break rules, mommy. I try not to real hard, but...but sometimes I...I jest do.” Jenny went back to the window again. “Will she go to the bad place?”
“No. Dogs don’t go anywhere. They ain’t got souls.”
Jenny peered out the window in silence and she thought about that, and she thought, if Nellie can’t go to Heaven, I won’t either.
She pressed against the cold glass. Outside on the moonlit hill, where the chill clung, came the soft cry of the dog. It echoed off the next hill and took a long time to fade, and it bounced off a farther hill. The sound rose, like a soul pleading to God. Upward it rose, higher and higher until passing from Jenny’s hearing.
Ground Dog Day

GROUND DOG DAY
by Larry Eugene Meredith
Written in 1967
Nellie died before the New Year. Using a carton left from Christmas for a coffin, Everett buried her beyond the garden where the backyard turns to tall grass. Helen cried and couldn’t watch the interment. She had grown up with the dog, but it was her daughter who grieved too deep and long.
Standing at the sink Helen stole glances toward the kitchen table where the girl sat listlessly poking a fork into chocolate cake. She wished to lift Jenny’s spirit, but knew not how. Asking for help with the dishes was hardly a cure for melancholy. She scrubbed them alone at a loss.
Setting plates in a sopping stack upon the side counter, she stared out a kitchen window. She could see across the backyard to the field beyond. The hilltop and the trees along the fencerow were black against a light sky; slim proof winter days were indeed getting longer. The window was steamed up, caught between warm water in the sink and cold evening air. Yesterday’s snow left a bar of soft white upon the outer sill. The storm hit the upper states solid and Everett had called before dinner to say he was stuck up north.
“When you think you’ll git home?”
“Don’t know. Not this weekend. I’ll be a headin’ right back out to make up schedule.
Maybe mid-week.”
She was silent. He hadn’t been a trucker when they’d married. He’d been a stoker at a steel mill over in Coldsdale. One day he come bounding home bubbling about a new job.
“Why?”
“Why? Fer one it’s more money. And it comes with a house. And I’ll be out of that heat pit…”
“House?”
“There’s a house down a lick from the terminal they’ll rent me for a song. We’ll have a place of our own, Helly.”
But the runs took him out of the house and up north, long trips keeping him on the road except weekends. He loved it.
It was lonely weeks for her and Jenny.
His long distance, “I love you,” softly intruded on her thoughts.
“I know. I love you too.”
There was a pause.
“Little Petey’s dead.”
“Pete Lentz? How?”
“Didn’t want to hole up. Thought he could beat the storm down, but he skidded off the road somewhere in mid-state. Heard he froze t’death.”
A longer pause.
“Look, I really hafta go. Kiss Jen fer me.”
“Okay.”
She stood a moment, her hand still on the receiver. There was a clink of fork against plate. Her eyes drifted to a calendar hanging between window and door.
“Ya know what?”
Jenny looked over.
Helen pointed at the calendar. “Next week’s Ground Hog Day.”
“What’s that?”
“On Feb’uary second, if’n the ground hog don’t see his shadow, it means an early spring. If’n he sees his shadow, he’ll get a scared an’ jump back into his burrow an’ we’ll git six more weeks of winter.”
“Really?”
“That’s what folk say. You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you oughta look fer a ground hog to see what he does.”
“There ground dogs ‘round here?”
“It’s hog, honey, ground hog. Sure, they’re around here. I’ve seen ‘em up the hill sittin’ back on their hunches. They like to make homes in fencerows.”
Jenny dropped her fork and trotted to the kitchen door, pressing her nose against the glass panel to stare at the hill.
Helen put her hand against her mouth and said nothing of what popped into her brain too late. There were ground hogs, but they would be hibernating deep in their lairs this time of year.
At cockcrow Jenny bundled and went out. She circled the yard, head down searching for ground hog tracks. She traipsed about for a half hour, until the snow was a hodgepodge of boot prints and then shrugging, retrieved her sled from beneath the back porch. She trudged up the knoll, tugging the sled behind by a piece of old clothesline. She walked up the field edge, knowing she’d have to stay on the wagon trail to sled. The wide patch of open ground covering the hill was a cornfield in the summer and the soil beneath the snow was choppy and thick with crushed corn stalks from the final harvest. If she tried coming down there her sled would snag in some broken shoot and throw her.
From the top of the prominence her home seemed a discarded dollhouse, desolate and forlorn. The back porch lacking fresh paint had become gray and water stained. The sides of the house proper did not match, to her right dingy red brick in need of pointing; to the left was stucco. Someone, before Jenny lived here, started to stucco over the brick, but stopped half done. The scaffolding had never been taken down. It clung there, a cage of intertwined rusting bars and rotting wooden planks. Surrounding her house to the front and stucco side was swamp. This marsh ran all the way from the highway a quarter mile distant from the house back to the edge of the woods bordering the cornfield’s far side. To the brick side a large pasture, where she watched cows grazing during the spring, was now a blank canvas of smooth snow broken by a narrow stream cutting a deep crevice across it like a black scar.
Living in a bog held her interests with its denizens of snakes, frogs and red-winged blackbirds. Last summer she had captured a pod of tadpoles in a mason jar and placed it on her dresser wanting to watch the transformation to frogs, but her mother called it cruel and dumped the tads back in the mire. She made a bouquet of cat’o’nine tails once, caught some crayfish in the pasture stream once and plucked watercress from the same stream and ate a fresh watercress sandwich - once. She had explored the woods beyond with Nellie at her side, both crinkling noses at the profusion of skunk cabbage; both returning covered in cockleburs.
On the other hand living in a fenland was a friendless life. Once they’d lived in town with her grandparents, right across from her grade school on a street full of kids her age. Then one day her father moved them here. Now she rode a bus to school, walking down their long lane to the highway to be picked up. She had had friends in town, but the kids at this school called her “Swamp Rat”, a natural enough nickname considering where she lived, but one she took personally, convinced her thin face and long nose gave an appearance of a big rodent. She tried to ignore the taunts, but sometimes at night she buried her face in the pillow so her mother wouldn’t hear and cried. Nellie use to hop on the bed and nuzzle her arm with a cold nose, licking the tears from her cheek. Dogs liked salt.
There were some people living along the highway and from on top the hill she could see the distant clump of houses. There were no kids her age, but there was an older boy named Thomas who befriended her. He played a trumpet and let her blow it, laughing when her cheeks puffed to bursting and her face reddened and the horn made funny sounds like loud farts.
A shift of breeze slapped her face and she recalled her purpose. Jenny sat on her sled and using her hands, pushed until gravity took her down the crisp surface of the wagon trail along the fencerow. She steered with her feet. The soaped runners picked up speed, building a wind that stung, making her eyes water and her cheeks burn. At the bottom she slipped sideways and tumbled over, the only way she knew to stop.
She lay half buried, a cold powder slipping beneath her collar to chill the nape of her neck. Giggling at the thrill, she got up brushing away snow and trekked back up the hill for another run.
During this slide something dark skittered through the brush. She cut the steering bar hard with her foot and rolled off to stop. She lay on her belly and stared into the fencerow and saw the shade run and disappear.
Dragging her sled, which bounced over rougher ground into her ankles with a sting, she entered the narrow line of trees. There was no sign of the thing, but she saw where it had gone. In the brush was a fallen tree and at the near end a hole. She walked to it. The hole was about ten inches in diameter. She peeked in, but couldn’t see far.
She walked around the log, discovering another cavity behind it. Half hopping, half dancing, she dragged her sled out of the trees, sat upon it and slid back to her yard.
“Mommy, mommy,” she yelled across the lawn, “mommy, mommy” up the porch steps, “mommy, mommy” into the house, “mommy, mommy” through the kitchen.
Helen rushed from the upper floor. “Are ya hurt, Jenny, didja git hurt?” How would she take her to a doctor? Everett took the car and left it at the truck terminal. Not that it would matter; Helen had never learned to drive.
“I saw a ground dog. I saw a ground dog.”
Helen’s eyebrows shot up and then narrowed causing a furrow to crease her forehead. “Where?”
“Up the hill in the trees. It must a got scared. It run into a hole in the ground. Does that mean we git six more weeks of winter?”
“I…Well…No. No. It ain’t Ground Hog Day yet. Not ‘til Tuesday. It don’t a count ‘less it sees its shadow on Ground Hog Day.”
Helen walked to the back door and peered at the fencerow. She saw nothing along the trees, but she noted the sky growing gray. When would it snow again?
Jenny traipsed up and down the hill all day Sunday. She didn’t take her sled. She would walk to the log and sing down the hole, “ground dog, ground dog”. She found a long stick poking through the snow and used this to prod the tunnel. The stick went in to her hand without bumping anything.
The day was calm. It was silent in the trees. Occasionally she would hear the sweep of a semi on the highway; sometimes the driver would blow the air horn and she would snap her head around, but the truck would whoosh away, just someone who knew her father from the road. In the quiet she heard a whimpering deep under the ground and she tossed the stick aside, afraid of scaring the ground hog so it would never come out.
On Monday she went to school, drifting through the morning classes. At lunch she bought milk and despite the chill went outside to a deserted spot behind an elm to eat the sandwich her mother had packed. The school band practiced in a room to that side and as she ate, wondering how to lure out the ground hog on Ground Hog Day, she heard the brass blaring and drums pounding. She looked toward the sound and smiled.
When the closing bell rang, she hurried to the bus stand and paced back and forth waiting for Thomas to come. He was three grades ahead of her and the older kids often dawdled by the flagpole after school, stalling to the last moment before running for their buses, often making the drivers stomp over to the green and hustle them along.
There was the danger that Thomas wasn’t at school.
He could be sick.
She wouldn’t know, their classrooms were on opposite sides of the building and they had different lunch periods and was he on the bus that morning? Was he? Was he? She couldn’t remember seeing him on the bus.
Then she saw him break from a group of boys and come her way. He didn’t hurry. In his hand was a brown trumpet case, swinging casually back and forth against his leg. She smiled and clapped her hands. She ran to him and offered to carry his trumpet.
“What’s up, kiddo?” he asked as she tried to tug the case from him.
“I wanna borrow your horn. I’ll give it back to ya Wednesday I promise, I promise. I won’t hurt it or nothin’.”
He cocked his head and looked down his nose at her. “Takin’ up music, squirt?”
“Yeah, kinda. Can I? Can I, please?” She tugged at the handle.
Thomas released his grip. She stumbled backward. “Yeah, you just be careful ‘cause if you break anything my old man’ll break my behind.”
“Oh, I won’t, Tommy, I won’t. I’ll be really, really, really careful.”
He laughed, raising one eyebrow.
Her face grew tight, her young brow even wrinkled. “Will your parents notice you didn’t bring it home?”
He waved a dismissing hand. “If’n they ask I’ll jest say I forgot it. It happened before. They know it’ll be safe locked in the band room.”
The new snow came Monday night. The wind roared around the eves of the house rattling the bars holding the scaffolding, threatening to rip the structure down. Drafts, like frosty ghosts, slipped in from every window frame and beneath the outer doors. Helen couldn’t stop shivering. She draped a blanket about her shoulders and listened to the constant weather reports.
A blizzard had crossed from Canada, growing worse across the upper states. The swirling winds were circling an outcrop of storm down from the Great Lakes to as far as Delaware. The biggest concern was high winds, but all was expected to move away from the area by Tuesday morning.
Helen was glad for that, but everything north was in the path of severity and she didn’t know which direction Everett was hauling now he was off schedule. He hadn’t called and that could mean he was on the road. She hoped he wouldn’t be caught along the highways unsheltered. She wanted to believe he was safely ensconced in a large truck stop, with a bed in the bunkhouse and food at hand.
She thought of Pete Lentz. It was he got Everett into trucking. Petey had a wife, two twin boys little older than Jenny.
Ground Hog Day was midday sunny, with fresh snow covering the footprints in the yard and up the hill along the fencerow. It laid a thick enough carpet across the highways to cancel school for the day. Jenny stood on the back porch blinded by the dazzle of white. Her eyelids fluttered against the shimmer. She pulled the hood of her snowsuit down low on her brow to shade her eyes. Hanging from her right hand was Thomas’s trumpet, glowing golden in the noon sun.
When her eyes adjusted, she saw a dark spot scoot across the field into the trees. Perhaps it was just a purple dot from glare. She held the banister going down the half dozen porch steps, aware of her promise to Thomas. The banister wobbled in her grip, its supports loose, the one partially split. She pulled the trumpet tight against her chest.
She reached beneath the steps and pulled the sled out by its rope. She crossed the yard and went up the wagon trail, which was so buried by fresh snow it felt as choppy as the cornfield. Half way to the fallen log, she saw the spot move again, and another and another. There were three ground hogs and they were romping in the snow. She probably wouldn’t need the trumpet.
A dark disk followed at her feet, a pooling of her shadow. It reminded her of the legend. If the ground hog saw his shadow he would be scared back into his burrow and there would be six more weeks of bitter weather. She saw the three dark spots scamper into the trees. They must have seen their shadows and were going to hide away until sometime in March. She dropped the sled rope and ran as best she could through the deep snow.
Into the trees she ran. The log, protected by the clump of branches above it, was only lightly dusted with new white. All about were tiny tracks. There were many and they went in circles and looping trails of confusion. They were thickest near the hole.
She knelt, putting her face against the snow to peer into the dark. There was nothing to see. She sat back on her heels and brought the trumpet to her lips, pressing the bell to the opening in the ground. She puffed up her cheeks and blew.
F-a-a-ph!
She lowered the mouthpiece and sighed. What made her think she could get noise out of the thing? That wheeze wouldn’t startle the ground hogs. She wanted a blast that would waken deep nesting slugs and frighten the ground hogs out their back door. She sighed again and in her head pictured Thomas playing his horn. Thomas never puffed his cheeks out like some croaking frog. His cheeks collapsed against his teeth when he played. They vibrated on some notes.
She pressed her lips to the mouthpiece and aimed the bell of the horn down the hole. She kept her cheeks flat and blew with her lips.
It was sour and it wobbled and whooped and died into a hiss at the end, but it was a definite blare.
Jenny looked around the log. No change. She took a deep breath and blasted the burrow again; her note more sustained this time. She blew until her chest was caving in atop her stomach and the inside of her skull hurt to bursting. When she stopped she fell backward to the ground, little flecks like a swarm of midget flies flitting around in her eyes.
And beyond the flies was motion. Jenny lay still. Something crawled onto her feet. Something else made a sound, a kind of squeak, toward the back of the log. She rose up on an elbow and saw a little black ball nested between her feet and two puppies scurrying about in the brush. They were puffy, their fur frizzed about them as if charged by electricity, all brown highlighted with white bellies. Their tails were furry worms held proudly up from their behinds like skinny banners.
The black ball uncurled and jumped off her. Jenny got to her feet and two pups scuttled down the hole, but the black one stood its ground staring up with eyes like ebony pearls. Her mouth dropped open and she took a step toward it.
“Ahh,” she whispered.
A growl answered from behind.
Jenny spun on her heels; the trumpet dropping into a clump of old leaves and twigs with a clunk against a rock beneath.
The dog was enormous. It had a square snout and squinting eyes. Its purple lips pulled back causing ripples along the jowls and displaying long teeth. Behind the ears, which were bent forward pointing the way to Jenny, was a ridge of stiff hair. The animal’s front legs were bent slightly at the knees and its shoulder blades pressed against the fur, jutting above its back.
Jenny ran. She burst straight through a bramble bush, scratching her face. She darted to her sled, threw it under her belly and sped downhill face first for the first time in her life.
Shaking after rolling off the sled, tears freezing beneath her lids, she waited on the ground for the attack. She flung her arms over her head to retain her face. After a few seconds of stillness, she lowered her arms and peeked back from where she’d come. There was no sign of the dog on the hill.
Helen called the shelter in the county seat. The men didn’t come to their place until the next day. They parked the pound truck at the edge of the wagon trail and walked up the hill carrying a net and a cage. They were up in the trees for an hour, but when they came down they had the mother dog in the cage. They didn’t stop at the house to say anything. They put the dog in the back of the truck, stowed their gear and drove off.
“What about the puppies?”
Helen patted Jenny’s head. “Oh, I’m sure they’ll be back to git the pups.”
But the men didn’t come back that day. When they didn’t come back the next, Helen called the pound.
They weren’t coming back. The only way to get the pups was to dig them out of the old ground hog burrow. Couldn’t they do that? No, they wouldn’t do that.
“But without the mother, the pups’ll starve,” Helen told them.
“We’re sorry,” they said.
There were some cans of dog food left in the cupboard after Nellie died. Helen planned to throw the cans away, but always forgot. She got them now. For the next few days, Jenny made the climb up the hill and spooned the food down the hole to the pups. Sometimes she saw them, but even when she did they quickly ran down the tunnel. She did rescue Thomas’s horn and returned it. He made no comment about the scratches or the small dent on the bottom just front of the valves. As long as his father never noticed, it would be their secret.
Everett got home Saturday. Jenny heard the old car clatter up the long drive and came running into her father’s arms as he stepped out. He carried her to the porch where Helen waited.
She looked down at him. “How ya feelin’.”
“Tired.”
“We got a problem.”
He turned his gaze up the hill as she explained. Jenny held him tightly and nodded to emphasize the facts her mother told.
He set his daughter down and rubbed fingers between his eyes. “You reckon I can get some sleep first?”
First thing Sunday morning Everett dug the three pups out of the burrow, handing each to Helen, who nestled each squirming body into a large picnic basket. Jenny leaned on the lid to keep them captured.
“What about their mommy and daddy?” Her words were barely heard over a hush of wind.
Helen glanced at her daughter.
Everett handed a yipping pup up from the hole. “Ya said they was eatin’ the canned food you put out. They don’t need the mother’s milk. And they prob’bly never seen the daddy dog.” He straightened up, stretched back. “Think that’s the last. You jest saw three?”
“Yeah,”
He handed the shovel to Helen and opened up the basket, lifting out the black pup. He held it toward Jenny. “Whatcha think of this feller?”
She looked into her dad’s eyes.
“Take it. It’s yours if’n ya want.”
They headed down the hill. Everett carried the load and Jenny walked alongside stroking the head of the puppy.
“But won’t they miss ‘em?”
“Miss who?” Everett shifted the basket to his other hand and drooped an arm around his daughter.
“Their mommy and daddy.”
Everett gave her a smile. “That’s jest nature’s way sometimes. They’ll get self-reliant real quick.”
Walking behind, Helen stared ahead at the solitary house and was quiet.

B&N Shorts
February 2003
Barnes & Noble
Wilmington, DE
Ann Murphy, Editor
Copyright 2003 by Larry E. Meredith
To Steal an Apple

“What’r’ya lookin’ at?” Timmy said.
“I was wonderin’ where they git those apples.”
“They git ‘em from Cobbs. They steal ‘em.”
“Steal them? How?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask them?”
Little boys didn’t ask high school boys how they stole apples. Most of the time Jerry tried keeping out of sight of these older boys. Stealing apples wasn’t the only nasty activity they indulged in. Beating up younger kids and stealing their milk money was another.
“What do they taste like?”
Timmy looked Jerry in the eyes. “You never ever ate an apple?”
Jerry shook his head.
“Why don’t you steal one?”
“Steal one? I can’t steal one.”
“Why not?”
“Cause it’s…it’s…it’s stealin’.”
“Ah, it’s jest an apple. No big deal.”
“What if I’m caught?”
“So, you git grounded or somethin’. They ain’t gonna kill you. Nobody ever died ‘cause of a lousy apple.”
“I still can’t.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know how.”
“So, go watch them guys do it. Nothin’ to it.”
“An apple a day, keeps the doctor away”, was on a placard in the chalk tray of the blackboard in back of the classroom. “Apples were healthy, wholesome fruit”, said his health book. Jerry closed his book and paraded with his class to the lunchroom.
He peered into the brown bag, but there was no apple in with the Fluffernutter sandwich and the tiny bag of chips. The apple was a forbidden fruit. His mother would not allow one in the house. There was never any apple pies or applesauce or apple jelly gracing the refrigerator. They sold little half-pint cartons of milk at the school cafeteria, but they didn’t sell apples.
After school, Jerry hurried down town and hid in the alley alongside Hutchinson’s Pharmacy. Down the street was Cobbs’ Fruit Stand where displayed for him and the world to see were fruits of every sort. The fruit stand belonged to elderly Jake Cobbs. It was located in the basement of a large imposing building of rough gray stone, which housed the local liquor store. The building had originally been a bank; the First National was still visible etched above the broad front doors. It was a pompous building become derelict. A wide black and smooth stairway ran from the liquor store entrance to the sidewalk. A narrow stairs ran beneath these to where Cobbs main produce store resided inside the basement. It was above this stairway that the display bins of fruit were located. The fresh red apples were in the bin nearest the pavement.
Jerry jumped back at the ringing of a distant bell. He leaned against the brick wall and endeavored to appear casual. A few seconds later some boys and girls came down the street making their way home from junior high school. Jerry took a deep breath. He waited. He sneaked a glance around the corner again.
Not long after the vanguard groups passed his sentry came the main body of students. These too passed and soon the ranks thinned and rowdy cliques of older boys came.
Jerry watched.
The older boys slowed. Approaching the fruit stand they glanced down the stairs to the basement store. Satisfied with this brief check they walked briskly to the outer bins and each stole a piece of fruit. They ran down the street chomping and giggling.
“So that’s all there is to it.” Jerry shook his head at the ease of the thing.
He would only take one or two or three, and only this once. He promised himself this. He hadn’t worked out what to do with the apples after he took them. He didn’t want to eat them all right away. He wanted to savor them and he wanted to store something for another time. He would worry about where to put the apples after he had the apples.
Looking about, he edged along the drugstore. He paused and took a deep breath. He looked about again and walked swiftly to the fruit store. Imitating the older boys, he glanced down the narrow dark steps.
There was a door half-a-jar in the shadows below. No one was in sight.
With a final peek over his shoulder, he dashed to the bin containing the largest red apples. He stopped in indecision. He wanted the best. His hand moved back and forth over the selection and fell on a huge Delicious partly buried along the upper ridge of fruit.
But the apples were stacked loosely with one dependent upon another for support. The apple he grasped, when tugged, tumbled the others from their bed. They rolled down their little hill. One apple bounced over the tiny backboard of the bin. It thumped bump after bump down the steps and thudded against the wooden door of the fruit store proper.
“Hey. Hey, kid!” The door swung open. Mr. Cobbs stepped out, his face a combination of red and blue, a flyswatter in hand. “Steal my fruit, will you!”
Jerry looked at Mr. Cobbs and then at the Delicious apple, evidence in his hand, and then back at Mr. Cobbs as he charged up the steps two at a time.
Jerry stood with his hand wrapped about the big apple, squeezing it until drops of juice wet his fingers. Apples fell rapidly with each tiny quiver of his hand against the bin.
Mr. Cobbs was almost to the pavement and shaking the flyswatter at the boy. He was about to shout again when he stepped on an apple laying bruised and round upon the upper most step. Cobbs stopped perfectly still in the middle of his movement. He dropped the flyswatter and the hand that had held it reached for the edge of the bin. The man missed by an inch. He stumbled backward down the steps, crashing against the door with such force the lower hinge pulled from the wood and flapped back and forth displaying its three screws.
Jerry’s eyes widened and his legs unglued to carry him to the security of the drugstore alley.
Jerry turned and looked back. He could hear Mr. Cobbs moaning. People were gathering. Somebody shouted, a woman with a high-excited voice, yelled, “get a doctor” and a man run up the black stairs into the liquor store.
Jerry wanted to run to the fruit stand and fall on top of Mr. Cobbs and tell him he was sorry for being a bad boy, that he would never do it again, that he would work for Mr. Cobbs to pay for his theft. But his heart beat against his chest and he edged backward. When he saw Mr. Cobbs helped from the pit of the steps and walk about hacking and choking, he stepped back a bit further into the alley. At least the man was not dead. He should take the apple, the big red Delicious still held in his small hand, over to the vendor, hand it to the man and take his punishment, but as Mr. Cobbs got his breath his eyes darkened and his face reddened and his lips moved with strong words. Jerry gently set the apple on the pavement and left it to be found after he was gone.
As he ran away, he sniffed his hands. There was a strong odor of apple upon them. He could stop at Timmy’s house and ask to wash his hands, but when he arrived at his friend’s place he didn’t stop and didn’t go to the door and didn’t wash his hands. Jerry wiped a tear from his cheek where it left a wavy red line and ran to his own house and to the greeting smile of his mother.
He kissed her on the cheek, grasping her forearm for support as he stood tippy-toed to reach her face.
“What have you been up to today,” she asked.
“Nothing.”
She smiled and left him, going toward the kitchen to start dinner. Jerry sighed. She hadn’t smelled the apple juice making his fingers sticky.
Jerry smiled until he saw a dark red appearing upon his mother’s arm where he had touched her. It was only splotches the size of his finger tips, but as she walked down the hallway he could see it spread. As his mother disappeared into the kitchen she scratched at the growing rash. A moment later he heard her gasp for breath.
One wouldn’t think an apple could cause so much trouble.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Portrait in the Park

A fool uttereth all his mind.
But a wise man keepeth it in
Till afterwards.
Proverbs 29:11
On the backside of Battle Park was a monument, a tall narrow pillar encircled by a shallow pond. Maple trees helicoptered seedpods into the water during spring and provided shade for smoldering summer. People strolling around the pool took little notice of the column. It was so familiar it was invisible.
On summer evenings high school couples came to the dark of the maples. The ground was soft and cool. They would sit and whisper. They would slip an arm around each other and move nearer until a nose dented a cheek or a lip brushed a lip.
One clear night Hattie Darlington and her latest beau came to the maples. She pressed against his chest. The moon was full and high, edged with purple cloud. Its violet beams struck the pillar on the upper half. A chiseled face stood out against the dark hulking trees.
Hattie squinted, trying to recognize the face. She poked a pointy elbow into the boy.
“Who’s that up there?”
He shrugged his shoulders, his large head flopping to one side and his rusty hair slipping out of place to hang like thick blood toward the ground.
“Gee, Hat, ain’t anybody knows.”
“I never noticed the face before. All the time I’ve been comin’ here this is the first I’ve seen the face.”
“I seen it lots, but I never thought ‘bout it.”
“Nobody knows who it is?”
“Nope.”
“Ain’t there some kinda sign or sum'p'tin sayin’?”
“Sure, but you can’t read it from here and nobody wants to git their feet wet jest to read it.”
“Who’d’ya think it is? Somebody from town got killed in a war?”
“Which war?”
“Don’t matter. Any war.”
“I always guessed he was the founder of the town. But I’m not gonna wade out there. That water’s too darn cold.”
Hattie gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Don’t you even ask.”
“I ain’t.” She nestled in his arm. “Maybe someone will find out for the bicentennial.”
***
A settlement before the American Revolutionary War, Wilmillar wasn’t officially chartered until two hundred years ago. To honor this occasion the town fathers declared a celebration with parades, pageants and plays. Among events were the Founder-Day Ball and a kangaroo court where beardless men were tried and locked in stocks. A Bicentennial Queen, smartly dressed in a red, white and blue gown with a star studded sash, presided over the baby judging and pie eating. She would ride in a convertible leading the big procession.
The parade was the highlight of the celebration. People would come from everywhere to jostle each other and watch the long bright lines of floats and listen to the slightly out of tune high school bands. Media coverage came from as far as Frateramorton, the big city to the east. Reporters were in town, stifling yawns, and looking for some tiny speck of nonconformity to distinguish their story from the others covered by the small town weeklies.
Hattie Darlington was standing next to a weary man watching a bunch of boys chase after greased pigs. He was a potbellied soiled man of forty, wearing a dusty brown hat shoved back on a pink patch of bald scalp. A large button with a blue ribbon pinned to his suit identification him as Press.
She tugged his sleeve. “You with the papers?”
He tapped the button.
“Ain’t this a nutty town?”
He grunted, neither a yes nor a no.
Hattie held his sleeve. “Ya know they got this statue in the park and nobody knows what for.”
“What’s ‘at?” He glanced at the girl for the first time.
“I said they got this big pillar with a portrait at the top and don’t know who it is.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yeah, it’s real big and old.”
He rubbed his chin and tapped his thumb against his teeth. “Show me, kid.”
“Sure, come on.”
She took him to the maple grove and pointed at the pillar standing in the dark pool.
The reporter scratched his head. “How come nobody knows who the gent is anyhow? Isn’t there a name plate on the thing?”
“Yeah, but it’s too faded to read from here and nobody’ll wade out to it. They don’t give a hoot who it is.”
“Really.” The reporter sat down on the grass, took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. He handed his shoes and socks to Hattie and stepped into the cold water and sloshed toward the column.”
“Ho! Hey, there! You…get outta that there pond!”
The reporter turned and watched an elderly man hobble across the grass, head jutting straight forward because of the terrific bend of his back and his moustache bristled as breath shot into the age-yellowed hairs The old man stopped at the water’s edge.
“Come on now, bud, climb right up on outta there before I haffa call the cops on ya.”
The reporter slapped the water with one hand and scrambled back onto the dry land. He stood before the old man, shaking water from his feet.
The old man waved a stubby finger beneath his nose.
“Now jest what’d’ya think ya was a doin’ there, young feller. Cain’t ya read?” He poked at a crooked wooden sign nailed to a thin post beside the pool. “Well? Read it – read it!”
“No swimming. No fishing. No boating. No wading.” The reporter read, snatching his shoes and socks from Hattie.
“Now ya read it, I don’t ‘speck to find ya back wadin’ no more. Ya got that, boy. Ain’t no wadin’ allowed in this here pond. If ya gotta wade there’s a nice clean crick down the hill a way.” The old man’s eyes sparkled with sunlight and inner-fire. “Now be off with ya…both of ya”.
“But…” appealed the reporter.
The old man shushed him. “Don’t give me none of your lip. There’s the sign, No wadin’ it says, so be off with ya before I call that officer over there.” His jutting chin indicated a tall policeman strolling the edge of the park.
The reporter scowled. “Look here now, pop, you ever hear of the First Amendment? I gotta right to know who in blazes that guy is up on that pillar and I darn sight am gonna know.”
Dropping his shoes and socks, the reporter plunged back into the pool and waded forward.
“Okay, ya asked fer it.” The old man quivering from head to foot, yelled. “Officer, ya better git on over here quick”
***
Hattie sat on a hard chair listening to the argument. She was excited being included at the disputes of high men, even though her opinion hadn’t been requested and she was forced to sit quietly in the uncomfortable seat.
The reporter was waving his arms in the police-chief’s face. “You hick cops, can’t you even let a guy get a little human interest story?”
The police chief waggled a finger. “Now see here, you.”
The mayor, a squat round-headed man cleared his throat.
The reporter turned to the mayor. “Wake up, Mayor. You guys got this big monument in your two-bit park. It didn’t just grow you know. Somebody put it there for some reason.” His voice sweetened, he put a heavy arm around the mayor’s shoulders. “Why, think of the possibilities, mayor. That statue might be some great man, some important historical marker, something which might lead tourists to this rinky-dink burg. Wouldn’t you like this centennial…”
“Bicentennial,” said the mayor.
“Wouldn’t you like this kind of attention all year long or at least every summer? Mayor, you owe it to the businessmen and voters to find out who’s on that pillar.”
“I had the clerks check the files. There’s nothing on the…”
“All the more reason to solve the mystery,” interrupted the reporter. This could be an important piece of history. It could put you on the map.”
The mayor looked at the police-chief with raised eyebrows. The chief looked back, leathery face flexing enough to allow a smile. They looked back at the reporter.
“Ya think so?” whispered the mayor.
“Sure. Why this might make you as famous as Valley Forge…maybe. Maybe Washington’s up on that pillar, maybe he fought here. Perhaps Lincoln spoke here on his way to Gettysburg, gave a dry run of his Address. Think what that could mean, mayor. Somebody’s just gotta wade out there and read that inscription.”
“I think he has a pretty good point there,” said the police chief.
“Chief, do you think it possible? Could we become another Gettysburg, another Valley Forge, another…Alamo?”
The police-chief nodded.
“I believe your right, mister. We have to wade out and read the name.”
“Good,” shouted the reporter. “I’ll do it right now.”
“Fine, but come right back and let us know what you find.”
***
The reporter removed his shoes and socks and handed them to Hattie.
“I can hardly wait,” she said while he rolled up his cuffs.
“Me neither.”
He slipped into the water and took one step when a familiar voice commanded him to stop.
“Look you, dang-blast-it now, get outta there.” The old man came faster than last time, his hobble practically gone from his gait.
The reporter clambered to shore. He stood with fists clenched. Hattie shrieked. The old man didn’t seem to notice, he came up to the reporter.
“Now see here, pop. I got the mayor’s permission to wade out and read that pillar. Go away and chase the squirrels.”
The old man bared his teeth. They wobbled slightly. The old man shut his lips again, then snapped, “Don’t git fresh with me, young feller. I’m the guardian in this here park and the sign says no wadin’, and by gum, there ain’t gonna be no wadin’ until the mayor sees me personally and says diff’rent.”
“But the mayor did give me permission,” protested the reporter. His eyes looked to Hattie for collaboration, but she didn’t notice. She was watching the approach of the same burly cop who arrested them the first time. The policeman came red faced and looking as if he had just swallowed vinegar. He swung his billy in one hand.
She glanced at the reporter. He hadn’t seen the cop. “Hattie, didn’t the mayor say to do it?”
“He did, honest.”
The old man snorted. “Not to me he didn’t.”
“Oh for crying…” and the reporter dove back into the pool.
The policeman grabbed the neck of his coat, dragging the struggling man out of the water bodily.
***
Hattie squirmed in the hard uncompromising chair. Her bottom had fallen asleep. She ignored the three men.
The mayor and police-chief watched the reporter pace. “What’s the idea, mayor? You told me I could wade out in the pool.”
“Yeah, I…well…I…”
The chief snapped his fingers. The mayor and reporter looked at him. Even Hattie was surprised enough by the snap to observe.
“I got an idea,” the chief said, staring at each face. “I figure as long as we got this big celebration going on, why don’t we tie this in. We could get somebody important, the governor perhaps, to come down and speak. We’ll have a big ceremony where we wade out to the pillar and read the name and rededicate the park.
“Excellent.” The reporter saw a scoop brewing in front of his eyes. “It’ll put you on the map.”
The mayor cleared his throat. “Chief, are you sure? What if the monument is nobody?”
The reporter seized the mayor’s arm. “Nobody! Nobody? Mayor, they don’t build monuments that large to nobodies. Believe me who ever has his face engraved at the top of that stone must be somebody.”
“Right, Mayor,” said the police-chief, “it must be somebody real important to earn a statue of such stature. You know the governor, call him, invite him down Saturday. Tell him it’ll be front page news, a real vote-getter.”
The mayor pursed his lips, looked for a while at the ceiling, then laughed. “Right. Right, I will. And the congressmen, too. Saturday then.”
“Okay gentlemen,” said the reporter, “but let me be the one to read the pillar.”
“Certainly,” said the mayor.
“Absolutely,” said the police-chief.
***
Saturday was alive. The sky was lavender. The sun glowed like fresh coal. The monument glimmered above the deep-green maple trees. A cool breeze kissed the grass and stirred the cold blue water of the pool.
A great multitude followed the parade through the park to a makeshift platform decorated with flags and crape. The dignitaries left the convertibles that had carried them through the streets and climbed the steps to a row of folding chairs. There was the mayor and police-chief, the reporter and Hattie Darlington (a special guest by accident). Beside her sat the honored guests: the governor, a senator and a congressman. Each smiled at the crowd, warmed by thoughts of association with an important historical event and the votes it meant.
A brass band resplendent in red and gold uniforms played the National Anthem and each of the luminaries stood to give bubbly speeches about the glorious town, promising it would live eternally in the scared pages of state history, taking its rightful place as a vanguard of freedom.
The speeches and the flashbulbs subsided and in a truck parked nearby a television announcer began to speak. He described the great men of state on the platform. He murmured above the hush that enveloped the crowd, giving a blow-by-blow description of the notables removing their shoes and socks.
The men left the platform and got into the pool. The reporter led them to the base. The governor followed next, carrying a huge wreath of Mountain Laurel to place at the pillar bottom. The police-chief and mayor walked side by side and then the congressman. Last came the senator with the official plaque to hang on the column.
The water rose as this mass entered and cold splashes splattered the people near the edge. The men reached the pillar and stopped. The reporter scrambled onto the base and got close to the faded name.
“It reads…”He wiped it with his jacket sleeve. “It reads...”
The crowd leaned forward. A hiss rose as many shushed others. All waited breathlessly to hear whom the portrait portrayed.
“In Lasting Memory of Willard Toebington.”
There was a release. People looked at each other.
“Who the heck was Willard Toebington?” shouted the senator. The mayor shrugged his shoulders. Each man stood still in the water, oddly shaped kneecaps peeking above the blue.
Through the crowd fought the old caretaker. He stopped and squinted at the honorable men grouped in the pool. “I reckon I ken help ya on that.”
All looked to the old man.
“Yes sir, my grand pappy told me all about him. Ol’ Willard was the first caretaker of Battle Park…”
“The first caretaker,” gasped the Congressman, “but why the big obelisk?”
The old man chuckled, his laugh tinny. It turned the great men of state’s blood to lead.
“As my grand pappy tol’ it, ol’ Willard died and left it in his will. Yep, he left every cent he had to buy the pillar, have it carved and erected. He loved Battle Park and wanted t’gaze over it fer ever.”
The mayor’s square face hung down as if some hinge deep in his jaw had broken.
“You knew this all the time,” gulped the reporter.
“Yep, would’a tol’ ya if’n you’d asked. But ya didn’t.”
There was great noise as the crowd left and then a terrible silence. The police-chief mumbled something about directing traffic and hurried from the pool, leaving behind his shoes and socks.
The senator dropped the wreath, climbed to the bank, took his shoes and left. The congressman followed. The reporter climbed ashore and began putting on his socks. The governor picked up the wreath and handed it to the mayor.
"No littering,” he said and he too got out, took his shoes and left.
The mayor stood in the water, the soggy flowers falling apart in his arms. His face was pale, his eyes out of focus. He looked at the reporter.
“You gonna print the story?”
The reporter looked at him and sneered.
The old man reached a hand out to the mayor and aided him to land. “C’mon mayor. I got some coffee in my shack. Ya best git some and dry off.”
“It’s too hot for coffee,” the mayor said, his voice weak.”
“I got somethin’ to put in it.”
The mayor nodded. The two men walked away, the mayor stooping more than the caretaker.
The reporter pulled his other sock on over his damp foot. Only Hattie remained. She walked to him and touched his shoulder. Her eyes looking at the likeness of Willard Toebington high above them.
“Say mister, why do you think they call this Battle Park?”
The reporter ceased tugging the stubborn sock. He looked at her. “I don’t know,” he said.
“There must have been a battle here once don’tcha think?”
Kaleidoscope
Creative Writers
2003
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Tracey Landmann, Editor

When she called Buck it was a short conversation.
“I’ll be late.”
“Why?”
“Frank‘s featured at the 4W5 and I want to hear him.”
“How late?”
“Not much,”
“Hold up the band or start a set?”
“Start a set.”
Buck asked no more questions. She didn’t mention her birthday. Maybe he would have given her the night off. No, he would have ordered a cake and embarrassed her.
Goldie snuck a peek at her watch, a habit. Her deadline could wait. Time meant nothing tonight. Various poets read during Open Mike. Frank had finished thirty minutes ago. If she had left then she could have gotten to the tavern on time. It didn’t matter; she had a more important task tonight and wanted to hear the poetry, such varied styles and so many talented people in the world.
She left during the final applause before Frank could ask to accompany her to Buck’s as he surely would. They always caught each other’s performances.
She went outside to a street illuminated for a lively evening. At every turn the colors and shapes changed to new patterns.
She entered Wine World. Neon pastels dazzled and sparkled off the rows of bottles, changing with each twist she took finding the brand she desired. It was $35 a bottle. She had never spent this much on wine, but it was a special night.
Back on the street, alive with a carnival atmosphere as usual on a Saturday, she paused behind a crowd to watch Rose, a street artist on the strip. A smiling man stood holding high the caricature just finished, his heavy eyebrows and jutting chin dominating the cartoon face atop the disproportioned body of a weightlifter. The crowd laughed. A young girl clambered upon the posing stool and Rose began swishing brushes across a new canvas and the girl began to appear in paint somewhere beyond exactitude. Rose was capturing the merriment and mischief in her subject’s eyes.
Goldie walked away with the oohs and ahhs of the crowd fading behind.
She turned a corner into shadows weaving new webs with every footfall to her apartment stoop. She entered and closed that door.
Now came the Chardonnay. She found a corkscrew, a glass and carried all into the bathroom. The cork squeaked and popped free. She poured a glass and enjoyed the gurgle and splash. Highlights of changing color swirled in the wine under the bathroom light. She took a sip. It was cool and burning at the same time. She drank, savoring, and poured a second, setting the drink on the toilet seat.
No candles tonight. She did not intend for the house to burn.
She turned the tap and tested the flow for temperature. It needed to be hot. She had read it didn’t hurt in hot water. As the tub filled, she undressed and tossed her clothing aside. She stared at her naked form in the medicine cabinet mirror, pinching her sides between forefinger and thumb.
She set a single edged razor blade on the tub edge.
She eased into the water. It tingled against her, warmer then she was used to, but not unbearable. It was deep enough. She turned it off.
Silence.
Enjoying the caress over her legs and belly, the lapping of small ripples across her breasts, she sipped her second wine. This was as good as it could get on the night you killed yourself.
She drained the glass, set it aside. The pool embraced her like a last lover. Her eyes closed at the touch and it blanketed her with its kisses. She drifted weightless and serene. Her fingers slipped along the tub until they touched the blunt end of the blade. Her body quivered.
Why?
Because tonight I’m forty with deep wrinkles in my brow and furrows along my cheeks. My waist is wider. There’ll be no standing on a bigger stage. I’m where I started and this is where I’ll finish.
The water waved warm and silky across her skin. A mosaic of sparkling colors haunted her mind.
Rose at the easel painting the blond girl twitching eagerly on the stool, brushes dipping and stroking until appeared young blue eyes, a swatch of blond hair across forehead, freckles peppering the nose. If Rose’s father had allowed her to attend the College of Art, she would have a portrait studio, not doing paintings at the curb for a few bucks.
Two women dancing in slinky dresses with silver rhinestones sparkling in a spotlight replaced Rose. There was applause and whistles. Amber and she sharing a dream of Broadway stardom. Amber went no further than the local dinner theaters and teaching music at the high school.
And I end as a singer in a bar band.
One more of many nobody painters, poets and performers entertaining only those who could afford to buy no better. Unknown talents who shown only in the eyes of unremarkable people.
Something cold dribbled down her nose. She shivered. The water was chill. The bathroom was quiet. The wine glass was empty on the toilet seat.
Goldie pulled a towel from the rack.
She walked into Buck’s Tavern. The band was playing. The regulars, crowded at the tables and around the bar, clapped and whooped seeing her enter. She smiled and went to the microphone. She caressed the stand and began to sing in a rising rhythm like a reed weeping in the wind. The glasses stopped tinkling, the ice ceased it clink and the crowd glowed in the shine of their star.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Day of the Roller Coaster

1
My folks named me Toby and made me go to church every Sunday. I didn’t like either. I didn’t see church doing me any good and the name Toby only caused me problems. Other kids started trouble just saying my name – Toe-Beeee! I was thirteen and too big for a name ending in Y, ‘cause that meant Little Tobe or something. Anyways, I was stuck with the name, which is why I had made a mind not to be stuck with church. I figured to make so much fuss they’d kick me right out of Sunday school forever.
There’s lots of ways to make fuss at church. I began by teasing the girls. You get to teasing girls and it disrupts everything. You tickle a girl and she screams. You pull a girl’s hair and she screams. Pretty soon girls scream just seeing you. Then I was getting in fights with the boys. The two go together. You start teasing girls enough and you find yourself in lots of fights.
The kids at church didn’t much like me. They wouldn’t speak to me or sit near by, as if I smelled bad. Not that I cared. I didn’t like them either. Everybody in Sunday school was a phony is what I thought. They come and sit all attentive; even bring in articles clipped from religious magazines to make the teacher praise them. You can see why anyone with any sense would want to get out of such a place.
I’d been kicked out for sure if I hadn’t cooled it, but the Sunday school picnic was coming and that was too much fun to miss. It was always at the amusement park and they gave you free ride tickets. The way I saw it, this was my just reward. I deserved a good time after the Sundays I had suffered.
Day of the picnic began at the parking lot. The church chartered a large bus to carry us. We clambered aboard, shoving and pushing. Well, I was shoving and pushing, ‘cause I wanted a seat by the window. Nobody wanted to sit next to me and the aisle seat stayed empty. So what? I didn’t want anybody sitting next to me anyway.
The driver started the engine, but before he could move this woman come running up towing a fat boy behind. She rapped on the window and the driver opened the door. She shoved the fat boy up the steps, nodded briefly to the chaperones and waved bye-bye as if he was leaving for China or some place far off like that.
We all knew who the fat boy was and were surprised he was there. His name was Harvey, which was as bad as Toby, and he wasn’t right. My mom said he was feeble-minded. In Sunday school he sat in the back and hugged his stomach with his beefy arms. His face was always twitching and his eyes watched everybody, back and forth, like a puppy expecting to be swatted with a newspaper at any minute. Our teacher, Mrs. Fishbell called on him sometimes, but only if she had an easy question. Once when he wasn’t in class, she told us he was backwards and we should make an effort to befriend him. We avoided him, though. First of all, he was fat and stupid. Secondly, many of us were forbidden to play with him. My mom said he was dangerous. He took fits.
The idea that Harvey took fits, whatever a fit was, interested me and I wanted to see him take one. He looked so scared standing in the aisle I half expected he’d take one right there. Instead he stumbled down the aisle and stopped at my seat. He stood hanging on the metal bar, swaying back and forth. Giggles arose around me. Then Mrs. Fishbell started yelling at me as if I was stopping him from sitting down.
“Toe-Bee, you let Haar-vee sit next to you,” she yelled.
I motioned to the seat with my head, but he just stared. I had to tell him. “Sit down, Harvey.”
“Yes,” he said.
He sat with a bounce, sinking deep into the seat and jabbing his elbow deep into my ribs.
“You’re nice,” he said.
I just grunted. The last thing I needed was Harvey hanging around me. The rest of the trip I stared out the window and kept my mouth shut. I could see his reflection in the glass. He got sadder and sadder looking the closer we got to the park. I was glad when the bus stopped and we could get off. I was happier still when I lost sight of Harvey in the crowd entering the park.
2
Whiskeyrye Creek Park wasn’t large, but it was close to Wilmillar. The really good parks were too far away for our church. On the other hand you didn’t have the crowds and long lines at Whiskeyrye Creek. The park had a funhouse, a bunch of two-people swings, a merry-go-round, bumper cars and a roller coaster with one high hill right at the beginning. There were picnic pavilions, a baseball field, a swimming pool, canoes for hire and wooden booths with games of chance or food for sale. There were a lot of trees and a nice wind always blews off Whiskeyrye Creek keeping you cool on the hottest summer days. It’s gone now, closed down and was dismantled three decades ago, but in my boyhood it was a big attraction.
We were given strips of red tickets and told what time lunch would be. Inside the park everybody else went in one direction and I went the other. It isn’t much fun wandering around an amusement park alone. I hoped to meet someone outside the church group. I walked the grounds looking things over and not doing anything. I made a wide circle past the pool and the canoe rentals. Standing behind a high wire fence, I watched the roller coaster climb that first huge hill. A lot of church kids were in the cars, laughing as they neared the top.
They paused briefly at the zenith, the sunlight striking the silver trim. I had to squint to watch the cars disappear down the other side. Momentarily it was out of sight behind the boards. I could only hear it rumble and squeal until it whipped around a distant curve. The riders were waving arms in the air and screaming. The screams died as the cars took a last dip out of my sight and were silence when it reappeared on the level approach to the wooden platform. The ride was short. The riders soon came down the exit ramp, puffing and holding their chests. They saw me leaning against the fence.
“Hey, Toe-Beeee, why don’tcha go on the roller coaster?”
“’Cause Toe-Beee’s afraid. Ain’tcha Toe-Beeee? Afraid of the roller coaster?”
I ignored them. I pressed against the fence and watched another train start the hill. When their taunts fell on deaf ears and I didn’t fight back, they left. Once their laughter drifted into the clangs and bangs of the park I turned and walked from the roller coaster.
I sat on a slab bench beneath a willow tree. The tree hid the rest of the park, except for the merry-go-round, spinning in a domed building, sending its tinkling music out wide doors in my direction. Behind the merry-go-round was a ball field. It was empty. I stared at the deserted field and sulked about the teasing. It made me angrier than most teasing because it was true. I was afraid of the roller coater. I was afraid of height. I don’t know why. I’ve always been afraid of high places, terrified of height. Still am.
I sat beneath the tree with my face resting in the palms of my hands. My day was spoiled. There wasn’t a thing I could do about it, either. I couldn’t go home until everybody else did. Only rain could save me. I looked at the cloudless sky. The sun was bright. And to make matters worse, Harvey discovered my hiding place and sat down on the bench next to me.
“Hello,” he whispered.
“Hello,” I grunted.
“You having fun?”
“Sure,” I snorted, “ain’t you?”
“Nobody will do anything with me.” He looked in the direction of the roller coaster. Was he going to ask me to take him on the roller coaster? I sure didn’t want that.
I wanted to tell Harvey to go away, but it would have been like kicking a puppy. Besides, there was a kinship between us. Two rejects on a slab bench island.
“You been through the funhouse?” I mumbled.
“Oh, no!” He reared back.
“How come?”
“It’s dark in there. Scary.” He shook to prove his point.
“Aw, there ain’t nothin’ to be afraid of. If it wasn’t safe they couldn’t have it here. Come on, I’ll take you through.”
The red color always in his face grew brighter. He looked like a big polished apple.
The Whiskeyrye Creek Park Funhouse wasn’t much, a rickety building with a rocking dummy clown laughing outside. Inside it was very dark and full of narrow corridors that suddenly twisted, making you bump the walls. At certain places things happened. Skeletons and ghosts popped out or high stacks of crates and barrels fell toward you. About halfway through you went through swinging doors to find yourself in daylight. You had to walk across rolling logs over a pool of water and when you stepped off the last log you tripped a hissing thrust of air that would blow the girls’ dresses up, back in those times when girls still wore skirts to such places. Crowds gathered outside the wire mesh screen and laughed as you stumbled across the water. Then it was right back into the dark until the exit.
When we left the funhouse, Harvey was giggling. Inside he clutched my arm and cried out, but now he was laughing. I didn’t remember hearing him laugh before.
“You were right,” he said.
“About what?”
“I liked it. It’s dark, but fun. I was a little scared.” He paused. His brow wrinkled. “Are we friends, Toby?”
Man, that question scared memore than a little. I wasn’t trying to be his friend. I just felt sorry for him because I was felling sorry for myself. I wondered if telling him I wasn’t his friend would get rid of him. I knew telling him I was, wouldn’t.
“Sure, Harv, I’m your friend.’
We went back to the bench beneath the willow and sat in the shade. Harvey began to talk. In Sunday school he never said a word except to answer Mrs. Fishbell’s simple questions. Now he talked non-stop about his hobbies, his pets, his favorite TV shows. I listened, ignoring the occasional boy or girl who discovered us and made some smart remark. I told him some of my interests. We talked a long time. It wasn’t the same as talking to others my age. It was as if he were three or four years younger. Still, he wasn’t as dumb as everybody thought he was and I had a feeling he could be a lot smarter if people would talk with him more.
Harvey went home early. We were talking beneath our tree when his mother found us. She came to the park because she was afraid the excitement might be too much for him and this made me remember Harvey took fits. She said she was happy he had a friend, that I was a nice boy and she invited me to their house sometime if I wanted to come.
About a half hour after Harvey went home was the big picnic dinner and I had to face the other kids. They started right in. They chanted, “here comes the dummy’s friend,” and “which one throws his voice?” My face grew hot.
“Har-Veeee is a good friend for Toe-Beee. They’re both fraidycats,” heckled this girl next to me. Everybody laughed. “Both are scared of the roller coaster.”
Man, I wanted to punch that girl, but that’d just brought big trouble.
“Did Har-Veee hold your hand in the funhouse?” some boy asked, and the whole table laughed until Mrs. Fishbell came down to see what was going on and they shut up while she glared at me.
I looked over at the roller coaster. A long red train was slowly starting up that big hill. Perhaps it isn’t too bad, after that first hill. The rest isn’t real high. If it wasn’t safe, they couldn’t have it here.
I got up and walked to the entrance ramp. The others followed. They weren’t taunting, just standing quietly behind me. If it wasn’t safe they couldn’t have it here. I read the sign over the entrance. It read The Widow Maker. I walked up the wooden ramp to the thin booth and showed my ticket to the attendant. She waved me through a gate into a waiting line. If it wasn’t safe they couldn’t have it here. I took a seat in a middle car – alone, and the train moved from the platform.
Slowly it began the climb, the pull chain creaking right beneath my seat. I looked back over my shoulder. The other kids lined the fence. I couldn’t hear if they were yelling anything.
They grew small.
The car lurched forward. It flashed toward the ground and at the bottom of the rush swung into a sharp turn. I was thrown forward. I hung over the back of the seat ahead. The train gained speed. The ground rushed away.
It roared upward along a sharply banked curve. I was violently forced back, but before I could gain balance I slid down the metal seat toward the cutout side. I held tightly to the bar
, my knuckles whiter than my teeth, but slid toward the opening despite my efforts. I was going to fall out. I was going to fall to the ground and be killed. The metal rim of the opening was pressed against my side when the car jolted into another direction and pulled me back to the closed side, where I stayed until the car slowed at the platform.
Bewildered and exhausted, I sat in the car. My hair was in my eyes with no rushing wind to push it back. A man moved toward me with his hand extended to take tickets. I fished another pass from my shirt pocket and surrendered it. The train crept away and up the big hill. This time I watched the approaching hump and braced my feet while tightening my grip on the bar. When the train whooshed downward I was ready and stayed put in my seat.
I was roller coaster master.
I went a third time before I was convinced I could face the roller coaster. When the third circuit ended I got off, walking down the exit on rubbery legs. The kids were waiting.
“It’s too bad your buddy Har-Veee wasn’t here to hold your hand.”
Any other time, I’d have hit the guy and we’d be rolling in the dust, but this time I felt different. I didn’t have anything to prove. I thought about me and these other kids. I had never tried to make them like me, but Harvey had tried and they rejected us both. I wanted them to like me now, and to understand Harvey,
because I wasn’t a monster and Harvey wasn’t a dummy. We were just a little different. But I didn’t know how to change things. Changing things had to do with communications, Mrs. Fishbell said once. But communicating was saying the right words and I was no good at that. I didn’t know these kids any better than I knew Harvey.
“You know where I’m going next week?” I said, “I’m going to Harvey’s house.”
They didn’t say anything. They stared. What did I say that for?
I walked away. They trailed behind me.
“You are?” asked a girl. “Why? What’s Harvey like?”
“Is he nuts?”
“Did he have a fit?”
I turned on them. “No. No, he’s just a little kid in a big kid’s body, you know? You know what Harvey is? He’s lonely. He never had a friend. He never had a friend. That’s sad.”
I was walking into the merry-go-round building and they went with me.
“You really going to Harvey’s?”
“Yeah, I really am.”
We stood on the merry-go-round, leaning against the outer horses, trying to grab the rings. They kept asking about Harvey. When they had asked everything they could think to ask, we just grabbed at rings and laughed when we dropped one and it tinkled and rolled across the pavilion floor. The horses went up and down and we laughed together, a bunch of Sunday school kids on a picnic.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Henry

Henry was the only name that Derek ever heard him called. It wasn’t much of a name for a man, but Henry wasn’t much of a man. Henry didn’t live in Wilmillar, but in some vague place that people called “out there”. Derek had no idea what they meant by “out there’, but thought they meant someplace bad. Nobody ever said it was bad and they never said Henry was bad. They said Henry wasn’t quite “all there”. He was out there, but not all there. Derek wasn’t certain what that meant either. He tried asking the question, but the people he asked said it wasn’t a nice thing to say, but the people he asked kept on saying it.
Henry came to Wilmillar every summer; least people said he did. Derek had been downtown with his grandparents the first time he saw Henry. His grandfather was carrying groceries to the car, with Derek following close behind clutching a bottle of Upper Ten, a soft drink he called ‘wootie’. His grandfather plopped the bags in the car trunk and pointed down the street directing Derek’s attention.
Derek looked. He saw a slight man with protruding buckteeth and strange eyes walking toward them. The eyes seemed to move independently, each glancing off in the opposite direction. People stepped aside and stared after the small man, for he did look odd wearing a brown tweed suit much too large for his small frame and much too warm for the season. On his head was a brown leather cap, pulled down over his forehead almost to his prancing eyes. The cap had earflaps.
“He’s come for the fair,” said Derek’s grandfather. “Every summer he comes to see the fair.”
The Wilmillar Fair was an annual event sponsored by the American Legion to raise funds for their charities. It was run by the local members and consisted of many flimsy clapboard booths selling treats or offering games of chance. Derek’s father had brought him to the fair the year before. His father had spent the evening at a booth called the Jackpot Wheel, trying to win money and joking with other men and drinking cans of beer. He allowed Derek to wander the grounds and even gave him some money to bet. Derek had gone to one booth and on his second dime won a large box of chocolates. He had enjoyed himself and looked forward to this year’s fair. He hadn’t noticed if Henry was there last year.
“What’s wrong with him? He walks funny.”
“He’s not all there, s’all. He won’t hurt you none.”
“Why does he come to the fair?” Derek moved a little closer to his grandfather’s side.
The little man turned his head almost completely around, this way and that, looking closely at every person he passed on the street. When he passed Derek and his grandfather, Henry bent down and looked closely at Derek, who cringed behind his grandfather.
When Henry had moved on, he asked again, “Why does he come to the fair?”
“Don’t know. Reckon he likes the music, or the lights. How the hell would I know?”
Driving home, Derek asked his grandmother what was the matter with the odd man.
“Who?”
“Henry,” said his grandfather.
“You leave that poor man alone, Derek. Don’t you go a pesterin’ him like some of those boys do. He’s an unfortunate.”
“But why?”
“’Cause he’s not all there.”
“Where does he live?”
“Oh, out there…somewhere.”
“In West Ruhig?”
“I don’t know. Just out there.” She made a sweeping motion with her hand.
Derek was allowed to go to the fair on his own that year and he looked for Henry. He saw him standing by a booth staring at the brightly–colored plush animals hanging from a shelf as prizes for popping balloons with a dart. He was wearing his oversized suit and leather cap. He never played the game; he just stared at the stuffed animals. At times he would smile or giggle, and once he even clapped his hands as if watching a show. Derek squinted and strained to see what Henry saw, but saw nothing. The purple cat and pink dog and orange baboon stared blankly back with dead plastic eyes.
While Derek was staring at the lifeless animals, Henry turned and gazed steadily at him. As Derek felt this scrutiny a shiver trickled down his backbone and he looked again at the little man. Henry smiled, his buckteeth flashing blue and red and green reflections of the fairground lights. The little man took a step toward Derek and Derek ran from the grounds and half way home.
He didn’t see Henry anymore that year, but he heard kids talking about the man after the fair ended. They said “Henry” and “not all there” and one whispered something to another and they laughed. They made Henry a mystery to Derek and he wondered about the man who wasn’t all there.
When next summer came Derek knew what not all there meant. No one told him. He just figured it out from people’s talk. It meant crazy or retarded or somebody different. He still wasn’t sure what out there meant. Nobody knew where Henry was from; he was just a drifter, a passerby in their town, a stranger in their lives.
Derek was ten years old and entering the fifth grade in the fall. He was a big boy now. His father was forever admonishing him of that fact. He was big enough to know better. He was big enough to show responsibility. He was big enough to be trustworthy. He was big enough to do as he was told. He was too big to be a ‘fraidy cat.
Other children did not include Derek in their games or their inner-circles. After three years living in Wilmillar, he was still the new kid. Once he thought this would change. He had walked through Blatt’s Woods alone after dark. Robby Roundstone wouldn’t do that. Sammy Blatt wouldn’t even do that, and it was Sammy’s own backyard. For a while he was almost a hero, but then some other boy did something foolish and brave and he was left out again.
It was just after his brief fame had died and nobody talked about Blatt’s Woods anymore that they tore down the old bridge across the Whiskeyrye Creek to build a new one. The street where the creek was bridged was the shortest way to the park, but now there was no way to cross the creek there except by walking across a narrow board crossing where the roadbed had been. It became popular for boys to prove their courage by crossing on that board.
Derek had hated the old bridge. It had open railings along the sidewalk and he always walked to the road side so he didn’t have to look down the drop to the creek. He had no desire to get near the bridge now, but Sammy Blatt and Robby Roundstone had cajoled and taunted and pushed him down that street to the edge of the board. Sammy skipped right out over the water, stood balanced on one leg, pretended to lose his balance, laughed and skipped across to the far end. But Derek froze and his forehead felt as cold as snow, and was almost as white. Robby gave him a little shove and he stumbled onto the board, out perhaps a foot from solid ground, and there he froze again.
Ahead of him, Sammy was clucking, clucking and flapping his arms up and down causing a rippling in the board beneath Derek’s feet.
“Chicken, chicken.”
Robby jolted Derek again and he wobbled, then he caught his balance and his feet unglued themselves enough for him to leap back off the board onto Mother Earth. Robby laughed and quickly followed Sammy across the board. They stood on the other side and yelled, “chicken, chicken, chicken,” and laughed and waved good-bye and giggling went on down the street.
Derek stood watching them, feeling vastly more foolish than he could remember feeling in his life. There was nothing he could do. He could not go across the board. He turned and started walking home; knowing that the word of his cowardice would precede him to the park and a gauntlet of taunts would be awaiting his arrival.
He was almost home, almost to the house of Mister Keltz, who lived next door. Mister Keltz was working in his yard, down on his hands and knees with his cheek on the ground trying to see if the grass was level. Mister Keltz was very fussy about his yard. It was not like Derek’s grandparent’s yard, which was nearly grassless from neglect. Mister Keltz’s yard was bright green and dotted with blooming rose bushes. Around the yard was a waist-high hedge.
Derek paused to watch the man work. Mister Keltz worked in the yard every day, pulling weeds from the flowerbeds, trimming the hedge to a perfect square, mowing the lawn level, and nervously eyeing every child who passed upon the pavement. He was suspect of the children, certain they would break through his hedge and cause hurt to the flowers. He never let children play in front of his house, sometimes running toward them with his hedge-trimmers, yelling he would “clip their ears for his collection.”
The smaller children would run lickety-split from the walk to the other side of the street, but the older boys would walk by calm and cool, and even snap twigs from the hedge as they passed.
As Derek stood watching Mister Keltz work, he saw Henry walking down the street. He had nearly forgotten the little man from out there over the winter, but now he remembered that the fair began this night and Henry always came to Wilmillar for the fair.
The weather was dry, as it usually was in mid-summer and Mister Keltz had turned on a lawn-sprinkler. It whirled about and the spray from its spinning nozzles overshot the hedge and splattered across the pavement, leaving a dark semi-circle on the concrete. Henry came walking in his usual manner, turning his head far about to look at Mister Keltz and he walked right into the spray of water. It dampened his leather hat and dotted his baggy suit, and Henry stopped still in the spray. He furrowed his brow and looked first up at the clear dry sky, then glanced out to the street as a car passed and finally into Mister Keltz’s yard.
Henry’s face lit up at the sight of the bright colors in the yard, and attracted like a bee to the flowers, he simply plowed through the hedge and plucked a rose. Henry caressed the red petals he held and then he stuck the flower in his shirt pocket where the crushed flower peeked out brilliantly against his faded yellow shirt. Finally, he turned and plowed back out through the hedge.
Mister Keltz had never noticed Henry enter his yard, but he saw him stuff the rose in his pocket. Mister Keltz came running across his bright green grass, his face puffy and red, yelling words at the top of his voice that Derek knew never to say. He was not wearing a shirt and his chest was droopy and covered with a splattering of curly gray hair. Sweat was streaming crookedly through this hair.
He was looking after Henry, not at where he himself was going and he tripped over one of the rose bushes, snapping off a branch as he fell. Mister Keltz lay on the ground looking after Henry, who ignored all the fuss and fury.
“Ya damn moron,” Mister Keltz yelled. “Ya oughta be locked away.”
That night Derek was at the fair waiting for Henry to come. He thought Henry was very brave after what had happened at Mister Keltz’s place. If a child did what Henry had done, he would be a neighborhood hero. Derek wished very much that he had the nerve to pluck one of Mister Keltz’s roses.
At last he saw Henry wondering around, looking closely at each person, yet appearing to not really see anyone. Henry carried a bamboo cane that some booth operator had given him. He held one end in his hand and let the other drag in the dust. Henry walked around the grounds with his cane and Derek followed him, ignoring the busy booths in his fascination with this little man. They went around and around for a long time, passing again and again the hot dog stand, the popcorn, the cotton candy, the money wheel, the soda pop, the candy wheel, the stuffed-animal wheel, the duck pond, the household wheel. Henry seemed to be looking for something he couldn’t find.
Then the cowboy band came onto the bandstand and began their program of hillbilly songs. Henry stopped, his mouth opened and he listened, standing transfixed, lost in the music.
They both stood listening and for a while Derek forgot about Henry. He watched the band, laughed at the clowning bass player and the bottomless spittoon gag performed at every country music carnival show.
When it was over and the performers had left, some older boys climbed the stage steps and sat on the edge of the stage dangling their feet. Henry walked toward the stage, looking to where the band had been playing. He stopped walking and began waving his cane as if leading a band. The older boys jumped down and surrounded him.
“Hello, Henry.”
“Hey, Henry.”
“HellohellohelloHenryhello…”
The chorus continued in this manner, but Henry still led his imaginary band.
One of the boys pulled Henry’s shirttail out of his pants.
“Hey, Henry, you lookin’ for a girl?”
They all laughed.
“Dance with me Henry.”
“You wanna girl, Henry?”
“You wanna sword fight?” said one of the boys, who had a bamboo cane like the one Henry waved. He swished this cane before the little man’s face. Henry never flinched. He continued leading the invisible band.
“He ain’t no swordsman,” said a boy with broad cheekbones covered in acne blossoms. “Ever play football, Henry?”
With this the boy crouched and then charged into Henry, knocking the little man down into the dirt.
One of the boys pulled Henry to his feet and roughly brushed the dust off his clothes.
“There, there. He was bad, wasn’t he, Henry? He was a bad little boy.”
And then the boy who carried a cane snatched Henry’s cane away. “If he ain’t no swordsman, he don’t need this.”
A crowd of people had gathered, watching the tormenting, but they didn’t do anything to stop it. They watched, some shaking their heads sadly, but that was all they did. Derek wanted to yell out stop, but these were older boys.
At the loss of his cane, Henry showed his first interest in the boys. He looked around at them. He reached for his cane, held out by the boy, but the holder snatched it back. Henry took a step forward. The boy held the cane between his two hands and broke it over his knee and dropped the broken halves on the ground.
Henry began to cry. He stood before the boys and cried. His body shook. Great tears rolled down his shallow cheeks, and finally a man stepped out of the crowd.
“Enough. Leave ‘im alone. Git outta here.”
The boys ran off and the crowd dispersed and the man left and Henry stood there crying and Derek stood there watching. After a few moments the little man stooped and picked up his broken cane. He looked at it. He tried pushing the two ends together. He walked away and left the fair.
The next summer Henry did not return to Wilmillar. Derek asked about him, but no one knew what had become of him. His mother didn’t know. His grandmother didn’t.
“He’s out there somewhere,” she said.
He asked his grandfather.
“Prob’ly died out there. Moron’s never live long anyway.”
Derek shook his head and accepted that explanation. He tried to picture out there again, but he really couldn’t imagine it. He could only think of it as other towns or the house in the country he had lived in before Wilmillar, and that didn’t seem so bad.
Winter came and everyone was gone. He called the Blatts and the Roundstones, but they were away. None of the other town kids had ever befriended him. Some chased him, some teased him, and the rest ignored him. He sat in the kitchen looking out at the cold backyard. There was a large icicle hanging from the roof and the sky was battleship gray. There was no movement anywhere. The ground was brown and hard and the air was hazy and chill and snow had begun to fall. It was a dismal day to be alone. Derek sat with his face in his hands and he knew exactly what was meant by “out there”.
Pour Out Your Life at the Old German Tavern

Creative Writers
2001
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Joe Pokatsch, Editor
Another hot summer night in too many hot summer nights. The sky was a dark bruise. Storms threatened, but had for a week and no rain came. Heat lightening crackled to the east. There was no rain in that; just flashes causing field fires out on the farm line. Thunder covered all other sounds. Sonny was driving away from his two-bedroom trailer, cinder-blocked in permanence along 40-Acres Lane six miles and a spit south of Pansville. These were the last savage acres in the county, full of nothing but overgrowth and dirt bike trails.
He broke the wood line and flashed through crossroad villages along Pansville Pike heading north; one, two, three little clots of houses, a gas station, a store and up the curvy hill around the old slaughterhouse, past the high school on the hill and back into another stretch of nothing much. He was thirsty, dry as the road dust beneath his tires, all the water sweated out of him earlier. He pulled off the pike onto the gravel lot at the Old German’s Tavern.
He parked and eyeballed the revolver lying on the passenger seat. He pondered it as if it had been flung there when he wasn’t looking, decided it was best not to leave it in plain view and stuck it in the glove compartment.
Stepping out of the car he was seared by heat that would burn an iron. “Too many hot days,” he thought.
Inside the tavern, lit by blue and red neon from beer signs, was the damp cool of a rock cavern. The Old German had the air conditioner jacked. Sonny’s wet forehead went cold. He found an empty chair at a corner table and sat down heavy. At the bar three men sat drinking dark beer from thick mugs.
The Old German himself ambled over. “Beer?” he asked in a broken rasp over some distant accent. The Old German had a jagged scar down his cheek and across his jaw, and a blue tattoo on his upper arm too faint in the bar-hazy light to read. Another survivor.
“Whiskey neat,” said Sonny.
He looked at the other men. Knew them all and all his life. Weren’t they all beat to hell? Wasn’t one of them over forty. Wasn’t one of them ever been to war, but each looked like the losing side in a pirate movie. Chucko Moyer had a missing ear, bitten off at fourteen by a horse he was currying. Lester Witlach smiled through broken teeth from a mule kick and listed to starboard on half a foot, the toes chopped off in a hay bailer, symbols and signs of the farming life.
Sonny had a quarter-inch wide, liver-red scar snaking down his arm from bicep to wrist bone. It’d been shattered by a tire rim blown off his eighteen wheeler six years back and it was merciful he got his arm up to deflect the blow or it’d been his head sailing off into the weeds with the rim.
The other man at the bar was Brook Huzzard, who looked normal and untouched in the neon glow, except Sonny knew he had a glass eye, an irony of happenstance as it turned out. If you looked close you’d see that eye glinting brighter than the good one.
The Old German set the shot before him. Sonny snatched it up and drained it. It stung his stomach same as if he’d swallowed a hornet. He waved the empty glass at the barkeep.
“Gott almighty, Sonny, you vant the damn bottle?”
Sonny smiled. “Just another shot. But keep me in your crosshairs.”
“’Nother beer while y’re at it,” said Brook.”
Brook took a stare across at Sonny, his face blank.
The Old German returned with Sonny’s shot and set it on the table. Sonny picked it up between finger and thumb. He raised it toward Brook, said, “to Pammy”.
Brook nodded and turned his attention back to the bar.
Pammy should have been Brook’s. Should a been, could a been, would a been. Would have been Brook’s wife once a time, but wasn’t. Brook and Pammy had been sweethearts through high school, cutest couple in the yearbook. Ah, Brook and Pammy sittin’ in a tree… and Sonny had been the friend lusting in his dreams.
Then Brook wouldn’t fly with her at the throttle and that pissed her and Sonny got his opening and jumped over that cliff feet first. Never understood Brook. Just stubbornness in the guy. Never broke up the friendship though Brook never quite got over Pammy. And Sonny never forgave fate.
New roads taken because bull-headed Brook wouldn’t fly with her at the stick, 'cause he was a flyer too and too cock-of-the-wall arrogant to let someone else sit in the pilot seat. Well, that glass eye changed that, didn’t it? Took that joystick out of his hand for good. Brook went a bit somber and solitary after his accident.
It’d been up in those rot damn angry woods. Cursed woods for certain. Right after Sonny took to the air with Pammy, Brook hit out hunting alone and in a huff, armed with a 65-pound pull bow and bobtailed arrows. Drove off the pike up an old bike trail to the High-Point fire tower near Long Silver Lake campground on Black Oak Hill. Left the car and hiked back two miles into the scruff. Snagged a downed tree branch and snapped the line and had to re-string. Had the bow braced on his instep wrong side out, leaning his weight down to hook the string. When he released somehow the new string whipped off the notch and slashed his left eyeball down the middle.
Had to give Brook a gold star for guts. Hiked back to his car holding the gush in with one hand and drove the eight miles into the Pansville emergency ward. Didn’t have any other choice, of course. Didn’t have cell phones back then. Could have pulled into the first house in the first village, but there was that stubbornness again. Walked into the hospital and said, “I got a little problem here.” Too late for the eye, it was just pulp.
Ruined Brook’s flyboy plans. Lost himself Pammy in the bargain. Even with that, he wouldn’t fly with her. What could he expect snubbing her passion, refusing to share it.
Sonny had the hots for her all along. She was small, not five foot high, shining round face, always smiling, always showing dimples in her cheeks and flashing green eyes like starter blinkers. She had a bounce when she walked and she was soft and warm to hold onto, and light enough to swing about. When Brook said he wasn’t flying and she looked at Sonny and said, “How ‘bout you?” she didn’t have to ask twice.
Twenty-one years ago.
Stuff can happen in twenty-one years turns a young man old and sour.
Sonny pulled a pack of Camels from his pocket and lit up. The smoke rose in thin wisps across the blue glow of the neon.
It resembled the clouds drifting high in smoky wisps across the blue sky as the little plane went up at forty-five degrees pressing him backward. His hands had gripped the front of the seat, knuckles tight and white. The radio stuttered a stream of words, none of which he could make out over static. Pammy had tilted the plane left and they swooped the airport on the rise, then at altitude straightened and followed the Old Pansville Pike south, the highway tossed out below, white and long and full of loops and curves. It was quick time out of Pansville. The houses and farm pastures dissolved leaving them hovering that damn haunted forest. Nothing but tree tops and that twisting piece of highway rope below; nothing but sky above. He had eased upright in his seat, but his knuckles stayed white. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to look. Straight ahead, looking around Pammy’s brown hair, he could see the blur of the prop, a wavering line, more like heat waves wiggling off hot concrete. Looking up made him sick. Looking straight down he could see the black donut of a wheel jutting out over nothing and that made his head spin. Looking off to the distance worked for him, that was where he looked.
Twenty minutes out, steady br-r-r br-r-r br-r-r of an engine till one didn’t even hear it anymore. She threw the plane into a one-eighty. She dipped a wing sharply and took the turn too tight. Sonny saw a black curtain slip over his eyes, but he willed himself out of the faint. The turn tossed him over against the side of the fuselage, pressed his face right against the window. Up front were excited curses, Pammy flipping switches, pulling levers, jumping about like her shorts pinched tender spots. Beyond her he saw the prop clear and straight.
Out the window trees were everywhere and reaching, spiking up from the ground with leafy hands for the plane. He had gazed forward again and the dials were spinning. He saw the airspeed racing higher. The altimeter dropping. And he could still see the damn prop, a clear yellow straight-up stick.
Somehow she had gotten the engine firing again and the plane eased level and in a few minutes they were back on the Pansville runway, safe and sound. Pammy opened the door and threw up over the tarmac. But next weekend, they were flying north over another woods. Pammy just had this adventurous spirit.
New whiskey arrived. Sonny ran a finger around the rim
“How’s Pammy?” asked Brook without a movement in his body, without turning around.
“Pammy ain’t gittin’ round much right now.”
“Damn shame,” put in Lester. “She had spirit, that one.”
“You know what that got her,” Sonny said. He drained the whiskey and waved for another.
Lester grunted. Chucko nodded. Brook didn’t move. Sitting there thinking how he lucked out, was what Sonny bet.
Sonny and Pammy got married the year after the near air crash. Sonny left the family farm and started driving for McClury Transport, hauling up the turnpike to Pittsburgh twice weekly. Driving early day to late night to make schedule, popping bennies to keep awake, banging Pammy whenever home, flying on Saturdays and riding hogs on Sunday, was his life. Over and over and never feeling stuck. Felt free, always moving somewhere even if it was the same place as the day before, and feeling the caress and kiss of the winds of freedom.
Maybe it was his time on the road kept the fire burning, but most those years they couldn’t look at each other with out getting horny, their sap running like the whole year was spring and she was in constant heat. Never struck nuggets in the mine, though. All that bedtime and never got pregnant. Must have been something wrong with one or the other of them, but it all worked for the best he guessed. Kid would have been a real complication in the end.
Twenty years of marriage, fifteen of the best years of his life. Hey, what’s the joke? Fifteen outta twenty ain’t a bad average.
“Whiskey,” he called.
The three men at the bar looked at him. He had been a bit loud. The Old German trotted over and set a half-empty bottle on the table.
“Here. Save you money, save me steps.”
Sonny smiled limply. “It’s my anniversary. You know that?”
“Vhat? Anniversary?”
“Twentieth wedding anniversary today.”
“Vell, vhy you ain’t home givin’ a shot to the happy bride ‘stead a sittin’ here gettin’ blotto?”
Sonny gave a bitter laugh.
Brook looked over and Sonny could see that one eye bulge out.
Sonny poured another shot and Brook turned back to whatever conversation he was having with the other two. Brook wasn’t in the picture five years ago at all. Brook was off somewhere, one of his interminable hunting trips to the far corners of these great states. Pammy and Sonny were heading out on a Saturday night, a clear and stinking hot summer night much like tonight’s. They each had their own Harley because she loved pushing a hog almost as much as flying, and they were going to a biker blowout in New York State. Road was dry and clear, wasn’t any traffic for long stretches, just a breeze of a throughway right up to the Poconos, where the deer were. Never expected the deer. Saw them grazing along the highway, must have been a herd. Pammy saw them first and pointed them out, one hand on the handlebar, the other straight out. Sonny looked to where she gestured and that was when she hit the can. Some old soup can rolling across the macadam in the hot wind that she didn’t see and she caught it with the front wheel, enough of a jar that the bike wobbled and she grabbed back with her loose hand too quick and the bike went over and slid forever down the highway and into a road sign.
She didn’t have a helmet, didn’t have leathers. Too hot for all that heavy stuff. Tore hell out of one side, took skin and cloth down her arm and leg, shattered bones in both. Her head scraped along for a while and he saw the tear, the cheek ripped to bacon, the head split just off the eyebrow, the eye socket a pool of blood. There were bits and pieces of her along the track. Some hair was caught in the bushes beyond the sign where it had blown after the highway pulled it out.
The rest of that day was a blur he couldn’t clear up no matter how much he fiddled the dial. She was alive. Someone came along. A cop came. An ambulance came and took her.
Most of that year was in and out of the hospital, in and out of the clinic, in and out of the doctor’s office, a year of splints, casts and bandages, of skin grafts, of learning to walk and talk again. She never got a glass eye. Something about the ocular muscle damage, the shattered socket. She wore a black eye patch thereafter.
After they took off all the patches and bailing wire that kept her parts where they belonged until they could hold themselves in place, he still had to help her eat and bathe and go to the bathroom. She gradually got to walking with the aid of a cane, but she had no sense of direction and he had to watch she didn’t wander off absently into traffic. Moving to the trailer up in the haunted woods kept her safe from whizzing cars, but he had to be on constant guard for where she was. He couldn’t let her shuffle off into the woods and get lost. When that road took her skin and hair and bone, it sucked out bits of brain as well and she couldn’t remember things. She didn’t know what happened to her. She couldn’t remember ever flying. She didn’t know what love was and couldn’t do the act.
But he knew what love was as he protected her, combing her hair of tangles, cleaning what ever seeped down her legs, dressing her in fresh clothes several times a day, learning to cook and spooning her meals to her before he ate. He gave up trucking and cut firewood out of the woods, took up doing small repairs, any little thing somebody would pay for as long it kept him at home where he could watch over her. All the last four years, after the doctor’s turned her back to him, he had guarded and cared for and held Pammy against the terrors that came in her sleep. He figured she revisited the accident in every dream. She would awake screaming and shaking and lost in the dark. Or maybe in her dreams she saw the skies she couldn’t sail.
Sonny tilted the whiskey bottle over the glass and a few drops driveled out and missed, spilling in little bubbles upon the table. He walked to the bar and motioned to the Old German. He paid his tab, patted Brook upon the back and left the chill of the tavern for the sizzle of the late summer air. With all the drink, he had no buzz. He walked steady and straight to his car. He slid in and shut the door.
He thought of Brook, knew that Brook never in the briefest moment or the breadth of his life touched the depth of true love and probably never would. Should a have, could a have, but never would have what Sonny knew about the depths of true love.
He turned the key. He tuned a rock station loud on the radio and opened the glove compartment. The revolver skidded out on the lid. Sonny lifted the gun. He hefted its weight and balance in his hand and placed the barrel to his temple. For the second time that day he pulled the trigger.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Black II

My mother’s maiden name was Black.
Clarence Wiggie Black was her great-grandfather. I always figured Wiggie was a family name and given the convention of the times, most likely his mother was a Wiggie, but I’ve never been able to find out for sure. It’s kind of an unusual name.
He was a barn builder. The county was mostly country when he learned the trade. He got calls to raise barns up and down from border to border. He was known for his skill and his honesty.
He was on the roof of a barn he erected north of Phoenixville, laying down the finishing touches. It was October 1911 and weather had turned cold following a long Indian summer and frost slicked the shingles. He went to kneel and his boot skidded and he went over the side landing hard upon his back on a gravel lane.
Newspaper accounts praised him for his courage when told his injuries were fatal. He lingered for several hours, but couldn’t rise from the ashes of his pain and died in the farmhouse that night just short of being 58 years old.
There are people who say bad luck skips a generation.
May be.
His son took over the business. His name was Rutherford Black, named for the president, who had taken office the year he was born – 1877. Rutherford was even a more skilled carpenter than his daddy. Plus he had a head for business and he left off barn building to construct houses. Many of the homes that stand along Shoelace Road between West Ruhig and Wilmillar are Black built.
He trained his sons in the construction trades. One was a plumber, one an electrician, one went to school and came back to tend the business books and the oldest son was a carpenter like his father and his grandfather. The oldest also got his grandfather’s name, thus becoming Clarence Wiggie Black II. He was known his entire life as Blackie.
Rutherford never fell off rooves. He lived to an old age, long enough that I knew him as a youngster. His wife died in 1950. He couldn’t stand life without her, so he lay down on his lonely bed and died less than a year later. I got a picture of them. He was a round-faced man with a baldpate fringed in gray and a long, droopy moustache. She was a small woman with a little oval face, hair pulled back in a tight bun and wearing an overlarge apron over a gingham dress. In the picture they could be that couple in “American Gothic”.
The family building business was long over by then. Depression came and the people in the county had a hard row of it and nobody had money to order a house built. Clarence had to scrounge jobs off the farmers, working for a dollar a day pulling weeds. His wife, my grandmother, walked the few miles into West Ruhig and got a maid’s job for some of the rich folks that lived in the big houses sitting on the hill where you came into the borough from the north. My mother was working down in the damp and dark of the local mushroom plants by the time she was fifteen. Her name was Ruth, named for her grandfather Rutherford. She had no middle name.
At the turn of the fourth decade, Ruth married Lyle, a young man who lived over beyond Coldsdale. He’d met her at an amusement park on a blind date and he just kept coming around. He would walk seven miles between Coldsdale and The Willows, the village where Ruth lived, and then he’d talk himself into a dinner invite, and sometimes sack out on her front porch for the night.
Clarence never quite trusted Lyle, but that’s who married my mother and became my father. Trouble for me was getting born in 1941. I barely made my appearance, when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and my daddy went sailing off to the South Pacific. Even when he came home after the war, pretty much a stranger butting into my life as far as I was concerned, he didn’t hang around like other fathers. He got a job driving a truck long-distance and was away most all week.
When daddy went to war, momma packed me up and moved in with her parents, and we lived back at The Willows for a brief while. Then Clarence landed a job at the Wilmillar Iron Works and we moved into town.
There were a couple boyhood periods when my parents rented a place of their own, but it didn’t make no never-mind, cause they dumped me with my grandparents every weekend anyway. Clarence became my real daddy.
Now Clarence was a gruff man. If you ever saw “I Love Lucy” and remember the character Fred Mertz; well, that was Clarence. He wasn’t tall; my grandmother towered over him. He was heavy, with a thick stomach. His face was round and his head was large on his shoulders, made more so because he only had a narrow fringe of brown hair that ran just above his neck from ear to ear. When he went anywhere, he wore a battered brown fedora.
He smoked cigars. The kind of cigars you could buy at the nearby gas station. He would give me some coins and send me to purchase a couple stogies for him. My reward was the band that went around each cigar. He'd peel off the cellophane, slip off the band carefully and stick it on my finger. God, I loved that. Probably why I still light up a cheap cigar now and again.
He took me with him every weekend. We’d jump in his car and he’d make rounds to his friends; two buddies on the road. He kept a pint of Jack Daniels under the front seat and a pouch of Redman in the glove compartment. You met Blackie and it was a snort and a chaw every time.
Fox Hunting was his sport. He’d owned a pack of hounds once. I remember them lined up in little doghouses along the side yard when I was a toddler. I don’t have an idea where they went by war’s end. He probably sold them to one of the farmers who rode in the hunts.
Clarence never rode. As far as I know he was never on a horse in his life. When the horn sounded and the fox was dropped and the huntsmen and hounds charged into the open fields, my grandfather and I followed the action in his old Ford. I don’t know how he knew where to go. We’d drive this road and that and then he’d suddenly pull over by a fence or a clump of brush or by an open meadow and sure enough, in a moment we’d see the dashing fox, the baying hounds, the horses and riders. We’d watch them move across the horizon to another wood and when they disappeared, we’d be driving again to another fence or bush or field. We always caught them.
When the chasing was done and the fox treed or backed into a rock fence, and caged, he would take me to Stringy’s. Stringy’s was a bar that sat in back of nowhere. A low slung white construct with tiny windows made of thick rippled glass. There were little neon signs in each window spelling out different beers. The parking lot was a scooped out patch of dust in front of the place.
Inside, the place was a cave. It was dark and smelled of whiskey, beer and smoke. Most of the illumination came from more neon signs hanging here and about the walls. A horseshoe bar filled most of the room. Tall wooden stools ringed the bar with men like Clarence sitting on them. Men slouched over glasses wearing battered brown hats and short jackets. Everybody knew Blackie when he walked in. Everybody soon knew me.
He’d struggle up onto a stool and order a whiskey neat and an Upper 10. Upper 10 was something like 7 Up or Sprite. It was common in my boyhood and I drank it constantly. He’d push some nickels my way across the bar and I’d go play the shuffleboard bowling game, while he had a few more of his whiskey’s neat.
The men would talk and laugh a lot. They told a lot of jokes, but I never understood any of them. I remember he told a joke back in the kitchen of the house one morning at breakfast. There was some new bathing suits pictured in the paper, maybe it was the first bikinis, I don’t know. He looked at me, “You know what the new women’s swimsuit’s ‘r’ goin’ be?”
I shook my head.
“Two Band-Aids and a cork.”
He leaned back and laughed so hard he ripped the newspaper in half. Grandmother was furious. She waving the spoon she was using to mix oatmeal at him.
“What’cha tell the boy things like that fer?”
Things like what? I didn’t get it until maybe ten years later.
Anyway, I tell you, I couldn’t think of any life better than chasing foxes and crawling bars with my grandfather.
Sure, Clarence was drinking his share, but I don’t remember ever seeing him in what you’d label drunk. He didn’t weave across the road lines after an hour or so at Stringy’s. His speech sounded the same to me before and after. Those problems didn’t come from his carousing days. They came when he couldn’t carouse.
Remember that thing about trouble skipping a generation. Clarence had worked himself up to a foreman’s job at the Iron Works over the underground tank crew. That is what they made, all sizes of underground storage tanks. He was inspecting a large tank with a problem down inside with one of the welds. Clarence climbed up to the top of the tank and started descending the ladder through the opening to the tank floor. He hadn’t taken but a rung down when his foot slipped and he plunged into the darkness below.
It took them awhile to get him out of there and to the hospital. His right leg was shattered from hip to ankle. He came home plastered up in a cast that made him immobile.
He sat around that house for six mouths in that contraption, and even when they took it off, the pain stayed wrapped around his leg. He got back to work, but something was broken and unlike the leg bone, it wouldn’t heal. He was drinking from the time he got home until he fell asleep wherever he was at late evening, be it sofa or floor.
I went to the kitchen one night to get a drink. He was awake, but not with us. He was face down on the old sofa in the dining room and was cursing and muttering in his stupor. I passed near the table, out of reach, so to speak. In the kitchen I grabbed a glass off the drain board and poured it full of Upper 10. I took a sip and almost dropped the glass. It had a strong and bitter taste. He must have had whiskey in the glass. I got a fresh glass and swore I’d never drink that stuff.
Children make a lot of promises they don’t keep.
He died not long after. The doctor listed cirrhosis of the liver as the cause, but it wasn’t that. It was a fall, just like his granddaddy; a fall done killed Clarence II, too. He was just short of 58 years old when he died.
After that I never quite had a daddy anymore. My real daddy was still cowboying across the interstates and when he was home I wished he were away. My dad and I speak. We try to make a connection, but it isn’t there. Won’t ever be there, I guess.
My mother is in her eighties now and doing well
I’ve hit my sixties now and even after all these years I miss Blackie. There’s a song they play a lot on the jukebox in my favorite tavern. They probably play it most every night and I never hear it I don’t cry. It’s called “Desperados Waiting For a Train”. You ever hear that song; you’ll know why it reminds me of Blackie. When I hear that song I raise my glass and I yell, “here’s to every-other generation”, and those around the bar lift their glasses with me and they don’t have a clue to what the hell we’re toasting.
Modesty
Creative Writers
2001
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Joe Pokatsch, Editor
She entered. To her left were round tables covered with white cloths lining both walls. A man and two women greeted arrivals and handed out name tags at the door. Up front was a stage where a DJ puttered, preparing records for the evening. Most of the floor was open for dancing.
She went through a wide doorway to her right into the bar and climbed onto one of the stools. Her dress rode high on her thighs as she sat. The bartender ambled over, drying his hands on a small towel. He looked her over. Finally he raised his eyes to her face.
“What’ll it be, Lady?” His gaze slipped down again.
“A cosmopolitan,” she said.
He nodded and backed away, managed to unlock his stare and went to mix the cocktail.
She couldn’t really blame him, could she? She chose to wear the black dress that barely covered the two and a half feet between cleavage and knees. It was not what mother would have picked for her reunion. Her mother often told her: “If a woman displays modesty, men will show respect.”
The men certainty kept a respectful distance in high school. She was puffy then; not exactly fat, but her legs and arms had the look of a blow-up doll. Her hips were wider then her chest and she wore “birth-control” glasses. She was born-blond, but her mother had always clipped her hair short and straight, giving her the look of the boy on the Dutch Cleanser can.
The drink arrived. She swiveled around to see the people in the ballroom. She recognized Brock approaching with two empty glasses in hand. He didn’t look a bit different from when they dated. She had been amazed when he asked her out and more so when he continued to. Then Stella came along and he dropped her for that swiveled-hipped girl with the jet-black hair and dark eyes. She was lonesome before Brock. After Brock she was not just lonesome, she was miserable.
Still, he had changed her life. After Brock she exercised her body to what it was today. After Brock she got contact lens. After Brock she let her hair grow long and lustrous and curl like sunbeams around her face.
He came to the bar. He stopped next to her and motioned for refills. One glance her way and his face simmered with lust. He peeked down at the roundness peeking from the bodice of her dress, then at the long smooth thighs more than peeking from the hem.
“Well, hello,” he said.
“You don’t know me, do you?”
He shook his head.
“I’m Dotty.”
He froze. The fresh drinks in his hands splashed dark spots across his tie. He walked away in a slump of defeat and embarrassment.
Her mother said if a woman displayed modesty men would show respect. She displayed what modesty hid and the men showed regret.
And that was so much more satisfying.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Terror and the Librarian

TERROR AND THE LIBRARIAN
Creative Writers
2001
Barnes & Nobles
Wilmington, Delaware
Joe Pokatsch, Editor
Miss Gabrielle Hassbatten put the evening newspaper atop her wooden desk. The paper was wet from the rain. Some of the print had stained her hands. She pulled a small handkerchief from the sleeve of her sweater to gently wipe away the black smudges. After the hanky was safely returned up the sleeve and her rain clothes hung on the hall hat tree to dry, she sat down on the straw-bottomed chair and shivered over the headlines.
Two Women Found Murdered
Terror Now comes to Wilmillar
The first murder had occurred three months ago. There had been seven in the county since and now two in Wilmillar. The police had no clue to the killer’s identity. He left no prints and no pattern, only bodies, each a woman with her throat slashed. The newspapers hinted at worse things, but they never said exactly what. A madman was loose and killed without prejudice: young and old, married and single, homely and beautiful. His only requirement was that his victims be women.
Gabrielle shivered.
Outside the rain slashed against the high library windows. She resisted turning toward the sound, certain she would see angry eyes looking in at the light. She stared straight ahead at the open doorway, until the darkness of the hall appeared to spread around her. Her skin rippled with the chill of the rainy night and she shook inside her damp clothing.
She looked toward the window.
The rainwater glistened on the highway beneath the streetlight. The downpour meant no one would come to the library tonight. This was always the case in bad weather. This was a night for staying home in the warmth and reading what was available. Those needing new books would come tomorrow when it was dry and they would not catch colds. There had been many nights like this. Even a twenty-five-cent late fine was preferable to wet feet. She should be use to lonely evenings, and usually was. At other times the library’s books had seemed good company. Tonight they were cold and aloof objects. She looked at the shelves that reared high above her. They were neatly dusted and stacked. There was little work to be done, few chores to close her mind to the tapping raindrops against the windows or the shadows in the hall.
Upon her desk was a package, a sealed cardboard box in which books were mailed. This was all there was to be done. She pulled the box across the wet spot left by the newspaper. The end flap did not open easily and she bent back a fingernail. She sucked on the finger. The tip burned. “Easy open, indeed” she muttered. The end loosened and two volumes slid into her lap. She jumped.
They were reference works, two thin tomes dealing with the science of bee keeping. They were books she knew would go unread. Wilmillar was a small town, she knew most of the residents, and all of those who used the library, and not one would be interested in bee keeping, except John Berryborn, a farmer living just outside of town who raised bees. He had raised bees since a boy and he could probably write a book on the subject. Why did the board insist on ordering useless books?
Gabrielle took a marker from her desk and marked the jacket of each with the proper Dewey number. Inside the covers she pasted an envelope and into the envelopes she slid new library cards. She stamped Property of Wilmillar Free Library twice on the page edges and inside the front and back covers. Finally she turned to her typewriter and neatly pecked out the file cards and put them into the card catalogue. That finished that. There was nothing left to do but to place the new books on the shelf of crafts and wait for closing.
The clock, hanging on the wall behind her, chimed once. She flinched and put a hand to her breast until her breath returned. The single chime indicated seven-thirty. She had been at work a half-hour. This gave her some relief, for it hadn’t seemed that long. Perhaps the evening would pass quickly after all. The Wilmillar Library did not keep late hours, only from seven until nine on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. She had an hour and half more to wait. She was certain no one would come. Perhaps she could even leave a half hour early.
When she regained an even breath, she took the two new books into the rear room to the shelves where crafts were kept. It was little wonder these books were seldom borrowed. They were hidden in a dim corner behind tall racks of biographies. People who came into this section were after biographies and never even noticed the shelves on basket weaving or bead stringing.
Gabrielle pushed the books into the crowded space and hurried away. This section was terribly musty. The space was too close for air to circulate. The overhead light was burned out and the tight space behind the biography racks was dark. It was a narrow canyon out of sight of the world. A man could drag a woman into this chasm and have a lair where he could do as he wished with her. Shuddering, she scurried back to the main room into the light. “Don’t think so many gruesome thoughts,” she warned herself, then she giggled out loud at her silly fears.
The front room, with her desk, was a living place. The clock ticked counterpoint to the tapping rain. How cozy it was, not like the dark path in the rear room. Here she could see out the windows to the wet street. There was a wind. The leaves of the large maple fronting the library dipped down and rustled through the telephone wires. Cars went by on the highway, their lights sparkling on the water coating the street. When the cars came, the rain seemed almost gay, but when they left the outside took on a dreariness that made her sad. Broken twigs littered the sidewalk. Old leaves skritched along the gutter with the wind. When she began having the sadness, she turned from the windows. It was no good; she was sinking into a dark mood again. A tiny shiver rippled down her back between her shoulder blades. She tugged her sweater tight around her neck.
The clock moved slowly. It was quarter to eight. The room had grown warm and uncomfortable. She felt the friendliness leaving it. No one had come yet. No one would. She was certain she could leave early, perhaps as early as eight o’clock. Even if somebody did come they would surely forgive her this once, knowing she was a lone woman.
The knowledge that the library was not her fortress made her unhappy. It had been her best friend when she was a child. It had been her nightly date. This was why she had studied to be a librarian. This way she could stay close and take care of her friend. Tonight she knew it was a fickle friend. She was vulnerable here. There were dark racks in the rear room where a man could do as he wished. This was indeed a fortress for such a man. He could enter without suspicion.
But it wasn’t the library’s fault.
It was the rain.
A library is a lonesome thing when it rains.
She went to a shelf, took down a book and brought it to her desk and sat reading. It was on philosophy and not very interesting, for the words were too long and the world it talked of she didn’t know. But this was what she wanted. The books she could enjoy frightened her tonight. They would arouse her emotions and excite her. It was better to be bored. The book made her doze and in sleep time would go quickly.
A book tumbled from a shelf to the floor. The bang of impact woke her. There was no doubt something was in the rear room behind the tall racks. She could hear it move and pause. It was listening for her. She sat straight and still on her chair, startled by the creaks the straw bottom made under the tensions of her body. The rain sounded hard enough to shatter the windows and the clock had silenced.
What time was it?
Her fingers bent about the curved arm of her chair. Her nails dug into the wood until she could no longer feel the pain of her strength. She forced her body to pay attention and by breathing deeply she was able to relax. She looked to the rear room. What ever was there was not moving. It was waiting for her to come to it. She would not go. She would run into the rain and scream for the neighbors. Yet, while telling herself this was what she would do, her hand gripped the thick philosophy book and lifted it as a weapon.
She slowly rose from her chair, the book held above her head as she rigidly stood listening to her own heartbeats drown out the insistent rain. Dignity returned. She could no longer see herself standing in the rain screaming. This terror was only in her mind. If she went into the rear room she would find the fallen book had merely been placed too near the edge and nothing waited there at all. Once she knew this for sure she would sit down and have a good laugh.
She walked into the rear room. It stirred again. It hardly made any noise, but she heard. Her ears strained to hear more. It did not seem possible for anything to move so silently. It was behind the biographies, moving around the rack toward her. She heard it brushing against the books, coming nearer the light. She stood frozen, watching where the aisle opened, waiting. It was close.
No longer. She could stand it no longer. The heavy book left her hand and crashed against the shelves. They shook, many books fell, and an echo filled the library. A small gray animal scampered from behind the shaking bookshelves. It circled in fright, trying to escape.
The mouse saw her. It stopped circling and stared, mouth twitching violently, then as if she threatened it, the mouse jumped from the shelves and ran through the main room, across the hall and into the dark of the children’s room.
Gabrielle came out of the rear. She leaned against her desk. Her chest was heaving, but she smiled, for it was over. She had been right. There was nothing to fear in the library. Could imagination kill you? She watched the dark doorway of the children’s room expecting the mouse to return. Instead she heard the distant snap of a trap crushing its neck.
It had been quick. The rodent had not suffered. It had died quickly without pain. Tomorrow she would call Mister Powell and he would come over and take away the cadaver for her. She removed the mouse from her mind and looked at the clock. She could leave and go home. It was twenty-eight after eight. No one would come this late. She was wide-awake. Her terrible evening was over and she had no reason to stay. Soon she would be safely home with her parents. She would take a long bath. The rain was music now. She put on her raincoat and turned off all but the night-light. She dropped the newspaper in the wastebasket when she took her pocketbook from the desk. The rain had ruined it. She crossed to the children’s room and snapped on the light. The trapped mouse lay in a corner. The metal piece had severed into its neck. One lip curled up exposing pointy teeth and a spot of blood. “I hope when I have to die it’s as quick,” she thought. She snapped off the light and went back into the hall.
At the door she stopped and checked if she had everything. She had not forgotten anything and she reached for the door. She felt the knob turning beneath her hand and stepped back. The door opened. The man stepped in and shut the door behind him.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Along the Climbing way

Grew up on a farm and learned to read weather early. Little turn of breeze and a good season can go south on vacation and leave you high and dry or two fronts will bump up against one another like long lost lovers and flood the Spring seed out of the furrows into a river that a month before was a mud hole suckin’ the soil dry. Freezes can pop up early and kill the orchard or the heat can grasp a hold of late summer to wither the tomatoes and shrivel the corn. You weather it out with a bank note and a church prayer till the next season comes with its own surprises.
Life follows it own seasons of drought and plenty and we hit a blizzard of want in the autumn of ’88. We is Charle Raye and me. I married Charle out of high school at eighteen just March mad in love with the boy, and there wasn’t any dissuading us. It weren’t any shotgun wedding. We was ten years into our marriage ‘fore I had a first kid in the oven. That was the girl, Amy Sue. We had Charle Junior two years afterward, and then no more in the chute. By Thanksgiving ’88 the girl had turned ten and the boy was on the edge of eight.
Charle had stayed on his dad’s farm first three years we was hitched, but at twenty-one he got his call up greetings from Uncle Sam and hauled off to the Army for two years. It was the concludin’ years of Vietnam and didn’t seem much purpose for the boys they called those years, ‘cept to be cannon fodder and go die in a losin’ cause, but Charle had a lot of patriotism flowing through his blood and never much complained, though I did a bunch of prayin’ the whole time.
Wasn’t no trick for me to step over and take up his chores on the farm. Milkin’ and plowin’ were things I’d done since I was eight. It was a hard hitch for us both, I reckon, but the farmin’ kept me dog tired ev’ry day and I slept through most of the loneliness while Charle sat up in a barracks in Saigon for the last year of his hitch, till his outfit was evacuated out and that sad war came to a end.
When he come home he had no more taste for the farm life. In a couple months he had his Teamsters’ button and started haulin’ steel up the turnpike; tough life but good money for a twenty-something, and though the overnighters left me lonely much the week, we made it up pretty hot and heavy over those weekends.
Truckin’ got us right free of our farm roots. In a few years we was able to pick up an old bungalow out on Route 23 up in northern Ruhig County, just south of Pansville. Guess the soil swam pretty thick in my blood, though, cause in no time I planted my own truck garden up back of the house and sold the produce from a little stand along the road. Wasn’t but summer money and never ‘mounted to much, still it gave me my own means and stayin’ home never made me feel dependent on Charle, and he never minded either.
I got restless after a couple of winters, him on the road and me only lookin’ after myself for meals and cleanup ‘fore the kids come ‘long. Empty time piled up in my mind like dust, and after a couple of seasons of it, I invested some of my produce money in smalltime franchisin’ and started makin’ the rounds through the cold dead months burpin’ Tupperware at demonstration parties and bankin’ another lightweight income. Went through almost two decade this a way without so much a fluff-cloud in our sky, but I never forgot the lessons of the farmin’ life, so when the storm came I wasn’t taken by surprise. It was long overdue by my mind.
Didn’t right quite see it comin’, though. Nineteen eighty-seven had been a banner year. Steel was shippin’ at double time and Charle was pickin’ up extra runs and fat overtime. It left me high and dry lot of weekends, but it let him pay off his own truck and soon after the green sheet came from the bank he comes up behind and starts nuzzlin’ at my ear.
“Been thinkin’, Bess?”
“’Bout what?”
“How’d you take it if I turned gypsy. Holly Lentz done it last fall an’ he tells me he could hook me up with some guys to run wide-loads and hazmat on a regular basis.”
He kissed my neck. “You done any that?”
“I’ve done my share of wide-load, but I’d have to qualify for a hazmat license.”
“This get you home more often?”
“Probably not.”
“Okay, I’d probably get sick of seein’ your face if it did.”
He laughed and grabbed a hold a me and we was wrestlin’ around and Charle goin’ independent was a settled point.
Charle figured it would take him a year to pick up the hazmat license and set up contracts to haul, but the whole plan got snatched from him in ’88 when the shipper went under and he was left without a sure paycheck. Never know in this world where the hurricane’s stirrin’. That year the hurricane was Japan dumpin’ steel in the Midwest and it spread a deadly virus of cheap prices that weakened and killed one big steel works after another, like flickin’ fleas off a drozy hound.
Didn’t seem too bad for a while. Charle build rail sides on the flat bed. He let the kid’s stand up on the bed and hand him the tools. Bein’ away as much as he was, he did what he could to get close to the kids from birth upward when he was home. He got jobs haulin’ Tomatoes out a Lancaster county to the ketchup factories on the west side of the state over the summer, and with school out, he even hauled the kids alone a couple times, letting them have the bunk and he slept across the seats. When autumn come with the crops harvested and the fields empty, Charle couldn’t get any loads of nothin’ but air and pretty soon he’s just sittin’ home or putterin’ on the truck.
Course end of summer was the end of my little roadside stand and my truck garden, too. I was just left with the Tupperware parties and what orders I could ring out of that. Problem bein’ there never was enough to call that a livin’. Just a bit of mad money really, maybe enough to buy us a night on the town occasionally or get the kids new shoes come a school year. Now it was bein’ stretched to keep some soup and bread in the panty. Worse to it was my income was droppin’ in that business for much the same reason we was needin’ it so bad. Most my customer list were fellow highway cowboys or assembly line men from the steel fabrication mills up in Pansville. Fabricators were movin’ out to the Midwest to where the Japanese shipments was landin’, cuttin’ the haulin’ cost down, and a lot of our friends were cast off in the same leaky boat as us.
Well, that boat hit a shoal ‘bout Thanksgiving. I’d been snitchin’ away the dinner makings for weeks and we had a whoop and holler Thanksgiving makin’ pretend that we had things to be thankful for and diggin’ out the Christmas music.
Charle and I done the dishes and was sittin’ on the sofa when Amy Sue, with Charle Junior in tow, plopped an old photo album on my lap opened up on an faded black ‘n’ white photo.
“Who’s those people/’ she asked.
“The little girl’s your grandma and the man was her daddy.”
“Why’s their tree outside?” asked Charle.
I looked close at the picture. In the distance I seen the ragged edge of the corncrib and a run of rail fence along the cow pasture. Most the background was a blur of white makin’ it hard tellin’ sky from ground snow. My ma and grandpa stood next to a little tree trimmed in popcorn strings, kibble balls and suet. A tinfoil star was on the tippy top.
“That’s the bird tree,” I said. “Every Christmas eve they use a go up a bit from the farm yard and decorate a tree with treats for the winter birds.” Ma had done the same for a time when I was young, but then it got forgot about and I hadn’t given it any mind since I was a teenager.
“You kids wanna go see Santa Claus tomorrow?” Charle asked.
“Yeah, yeah”, they shouted.
“Then you scoot yourself off to bed now and I’ll take you into town in the mornin’
They both ran off to bed and I closed the album and set it on the coffee table.
Charle still held hopes for Christmas. Countin’ out our dwindlin’ savings at the bank he figured we could get the kids a few descent gifts if he could get food stamps to supplement our grocery needs for a few months. He went into the government office that Monday to make application, but came home empty of pocket and cursin’ Uncle Sam down to Blue River and back.
“Gave me this here long paper of questions to answer. Asked for things like ‘own a home’ and ‘list vehicles’. Put down the old Ford and the Brockway and turned it in. Then this here woman gives it a look over and starts askin’ me stuff.
“ ‘You own this truck,’ she asked.
“ ‘Yes m’am,’ I said.
“ ‘You’ll have to sell the truck.’
“ ‘Sorry, m'am, what? Sell my truck?’ I says.
“ “You have a major asset here, sir. You can sell the truck and live on that. That runs out, come back and we can help.’
“That’s government backward logic for you. Sell off your livelihood ‘till you’re dirt poor rather than give you a bridge over a gully to ground you can plow.”
Men like Charle don’t cry in the night. Those tears were there though. I could see them there behind his eyes, but he sucked them in and swallowed. I knew what he was thinkin’. How we gonna explain a Christmas with no Santa to the kids. One thing havin’ kids, you puts your energy in worryin’ ‘bout their world and don’t never have time to feel sorry for yourself.
“I’ll take care of Christmas, babe,” I told him, holding his hand, knowin’ he didn’t know why I said such a thing. He nodded anyway. I smiled and patted his hand, but truth be told, I didn’t have no idear what I could do.
I walked away and stared out the window so he didn’t see the doubt on my face. Clouds had been thickin’ all days and now I seen the wind was kickin’ up a fuss.
I thought ‘bout the first year Charle started drivin’ truck and we had moved off his dad’s farm and got an apartment over a candy store in downtown Pansville. Only year of my life I was a city girl. Most the people I met there had been townies all their born days and you don’t learn much from studyin’ pavement all your youth as you do scrabblin’ crops out of dirt. Those neighbors got the Fogtown blues if a purple cloud drifted across the sun. I knew that old dark cloud might be the drink a good crop needed to sprout. This cloud I saw this a night was the start of a nor’easter ready to drop a ton of snow across the county and close most the roads out our way. That was our crop cloud for a bit.
It didn’t make for a big pot of pennies, but Charle was able to hitch up a plow to the tractor of his truck and pick up enough county road clearin’ money to keep the bill collectors at bay and keep some eats on the stove. Still didn’t stretch much toward the kind of Christmas your kids expect. There wasn’t no fat for presents and Christmas’ trimmin’ once you paid off the electric company and the mortgage banker. And there weren’t some endless chain of snow-drifted roads to run up the bank account into January either. By Christmas week we was back to feelin’ behind sofa cushions for enough change to assure a Christmas turkey.
On the day before Christmas Eve I was cleanin’ up the livin’ room. I picked up the photo album still on the coffee table to take back to the hall closet. When I lifted it a loose photo slipped free and floated to the floor. I picked it up and it was another old sepia colored photo of my grandparents and mother when she was a child. My mother sat at the feet of her parents, who sat in rockers in the old farmhouse parlor. A spate of toys lined the floor at the foot of the Christmas tree, a fluffy-haired rag doll, an ancient looking toy fire truck, a little corral of wooden farm animals and a miniature barn. My grandfather had handmade them all.
I sat down and found the page where the photo belonged, then I flipped through the book gettin’ idears.
Next hour I’m up in the attic movin’ boxes here and about, searchin’ through trunks and long ignored cartons. I knew the things was up there some place, but hadn’t given them a thought in years, but it hit that the answer to my promise to Charle was tucked away someplace under the dust and spider webs.
Christmas eve came a crisp, clear evenin’ and a sky of stars that sparkled like tinsel on black felt. Been a full moon day before and you still had it ninety-seven percent full face and it sparkled across the icicles on the eves and gave the snow a blue hue. Anybody out along the road that night would a said they seen a bunch of crazies hikin’ up the hill an hour ‘fore midnight carryin’ a picnic basket and totin’ a sled piled high with blankets and a grocery bag.
We parked ourselves at the peak, then wrapped the kids up in blankets. I pulled the contents outta the grocery bag and Charle and I set to trimmin’ a little pine that grew along the hill ridge. We hung garlands of strung popcorn and balls of suet. Then we sat down on the blankets and had a picnic supper of cold chicken, pickled eggs and potato salad and waited the midnight hour and the opening minutes of Christmas. Felt like some ancient sheppard tendin’ my sheep; felt like the glittering stars were those old hosts of angels.
“You lookin’ for Santa?” asked Amy Sue.
“Lookin’ at the angels,” I said, and she give me a tilted head look and a puzzled eyebrow. “But you can look for Santa. I bets you we get home Santa’ll already been there.”
Before we had left the house on this madness I had snuck down the box I’d found up the attic and arranged the corral of animals and the wooden barn, the fire truck and the other treasured toys ‘bout the tree.
At midnight, we stood on the hill before our little wild Christmas tree singin’ “Once Upon a Midnight Clear” and a gazin’ across the valley at the holiday lights on farm roof and post. You could see the colors spread out for miles, a mix of green and blue and red and yellow and green, some a blaze all red and some a glowin’ a moody blue.
Don’t have much more to say. Ain’t gonna tell you that was the best Christmas we ever had. Had better ones before and better ones since, just like those changes of weather, storms and sunshine, bright days and blue nights and all of life as life is. Did revive a family tradition, though. Ev’ry year after, we’d all hike up the hill on Christmas Eve and decorate that tree with treats for the winter birds and the squirrels.
Amy Sue’s off to college in Formton and Charle Junior’s out of high school and got a job as a bag boy in the Pansville Super Fresh. We weather the seasons come what may and Charle and I still carry on the tradition, and those old toys are stored back up in the attic again for the next generation. Like next month’s forecast, you never know, so rest your self a bit and hear the angels sing.
L. E. Meredith © 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thanks to a Librarian
When I was a child living in "Wilmillar" I spend many nights in the town library. The librarian, who at this point was a young women, took a liking to me and encouraged my writing. This was before I had a typewriter and she use to allow me to type my stories on the library typewriter.Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A Certain Immodesty to "Modesty"
Sunday, September 7, 2008
My Childhood with "Black II"

"Black II" is the story of my childhood. For the most part, only the names have been changed. But the history of Blackie's family is true of my mother's side of the family. The narrator's boyhood hanging with Clarence on fox hunts and country bars is mine. The only real differences in this story between the narrator and me are I don't smoke cigars or anything else and i don't hang around in taverns drinking and crying over juke box songs.

Thursday, September 4, 2008
My Life and the Old German Tavern

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Truths from "Henry"?
There are a number of autobiographical references in the story, "Henry".

